I'm 26, single and still awesome as hell. hahahaha
I really want to blog more this year. It's fun to read the posts in the future. Now that I think about it, it's been 10 years since I started blogging.
I somewhat regrets those years that I didn't write much. I should've just write whatever I had in my mind. I used to keep everything to myself. I still do but I'm doing great in sharing a lot of things buzzing around in my mind. Nah~ scratch that. It's been a total storm inside my mind lately. Hahaha. It's getting better though.
I realized, lately I've been more honest with myself. I used to deny a lot of things inside my mind. I used to deny my own feelings. I used to mock myself. I used to hate myself. But, nowadays, I've started to accept myself more. I've started to acknowledge my own feelings. I've started to accept myself for who I am. Hopefully, there will be a day where I won't have to deal with all of these anymore.
By acknowledging my feelings, without realizing, I've started to embrace my inner child self. I'm becoming that annoying child who used to pester people to love her again. Hahaha. With that, I'm freely throwing tantrum when I'm home with my mom and my other siblings. Probably because I know that they would never disown me. Hahaha.
When I was a child, I was probably very annoying. I wanted a lot of love but the only way for people to like you is to stop being childish.
The child me understood those likes as being loved. I remember many of those moments. Without realizing, I started to have this distorted idea that you need to appear as a mature individual for people to like you.
So I started to appear like one around my friends. I wanted them to like me, to admire me.
In the end, those didn't matter much. It will never be able to satisfy you. Not until you're able to accept yourself for who you are.
Anyway, that's all for today.
May tomorrow be better. InsyaAllah.
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