Saturday, July 31, 2010

(Review) 庚心 (Hangeng's album, Geng's Heart)

So, who's exactly this dude?

He's Hankyung, a former Super Junior member as well as the former leader of Super Junior M... I'm not going to talk about the lawsuit thingy coz it made me feel quite sad...

Anyway, it's a relief that he's leading this kind of life. Hangeng didn't sign any contract as an artist with any other companies right now. He just signed a record label for his album to be released in asia...

I didn't really pay attention to this before because I know his vocal would never manage to impress me. Suddenly, I have a thought of reviewing his songs today.... and I did!

First of all, in terms of vocal, I'm not really impressed. I would just say, okay, he could sing... that's it. He got this typical chinese singer's type of vocal which is slow and calming... It's far away differ than Li Yin's vocal which is so strong...^^

Surprisingly, it managed to capture my ear. He managed to portray the emotions in the song very well! Which song did I talk about? It's 'Say No'... I'm impressed! Really... I'm not going to post up the lyrics for that song, but, just so you know, 'Say No' really reflect Hangeng's life. It's like telling people what he felt when he was in Super Junior. You'll understand me if you're a true ELF...

Another song managed to capture my heart is 'Wings of love'... The song was written by Hangeng's fan back in 2007... It's a touching song and the lyrics was written beautifully. Somehow I think this song managed to give courage to Hangeng to keep holding on during his hard times...

After all, it's the love between Super Junior and ELF made me drawn into them in the first place...

The latest song released is 'My Logo'... This song is a collaboration between composers from all over the world. “My Logo” is a work featured as dance music, the creation, record, production of this song can be said as a large scale of international collaboration. Four American producers, Tearce Kizzo Keaz, Craig Williams, Rene Van Versaveld, Francesca Richard, allied with godfather of Taiwan dance music A Zai Di, all worked together to make this song accomplished. The dance for this song is devotedly composed by Michael Jackson’s team.

I'm really looking forward to the live performance for this song...^^

Hangeng and Michael Jackson's dance team...

Also, when I said Hangeng didn't sign under any company before rite? It's because neither SM nor him were backing off from the lawsuit. So, basically, he's still under SM in certain terms.

In Taiwan, his album would be released by ‘Golden Typhoon’, and Han Geng is officially Show Luo’s junior in the company. He's pretty close to Show Luo...^^

If you ask me about 'My Logo', urm... the music at the beginning reminded me of xiahtic... Nevertheless it got a new fresh feel in it...

"Han Geng was once chosen to be the ambassador for protecting the Great Wall of China. He held his press conference at the Great Wall of China on 22nd June. 5000 balloons printed with ‘Geng’ were released into the air over there. He also announced that he will hold two solo concerts in Beijing on the 17th and 18th of July. He most probably would be in Taiwan to meet his fans in August.

Han Geng who seems to gain weight, was smiling throughout the conference and expressed that he is very happy at the moment. He also stated that being a soloist is to be more loyal to his heart. He also revealed that he is learning under Michael Jackson’s choreographer, becoming Michael Jackson’s junior.

As for the concert, Han Geng is really excited. He expressed that this is his first time holding a concert as a soloist so it means a lot to him. He uses his concert to promote his album, other than singing his songs; he would also be exposing the songs in his new album as well. As for his concert’s guests, he is not willing to say anything."

I'm wishing he would somehow bring back Li Yin to China... I mean... Li Yin would've probably got tons of songs if she's not under SM now.

and I think I know why Li Yin didn't participate the World Expo in China... It's because Hangeng is one of the ambassadors for the the World Expo...

Geez~ SM already lose someone who made Suju managed to break into Chinese market. If SM lose Li Yin, it would probably take forever for them to break into Chinese market again. We did know China is one of the biggest market range in the world and the fact they're losing TVXQ to break into Japan's market is just...... and same with China market, to break into Japan's market alone is very very hard...

Now, it seemed like they only have Korean market... So, do u think by using SHINee, f(x) and SNSD would made them much money? I don't think so... because if you look closely, though SNSD, SHINee and f(x) got sooooo much fans all over the world, but hey, did they really buy the album? Or just download them from the internet??? Think over it...

Illegal downloading is strictly prohibited in japan. So how do you think fans of TVXQ listen to the songs? Yeah, of course by buying their albums... After all, TVXQ is the only korean artist who got the biggest fanbase all over the world... and the first korean group to become the 1st in the world to break the highest album sales record!

lol... the last 3 paragraphs are so out of the topic... But still, I need to vent my anger... and I did mention, Chocolates are not as much as other fanbases. But, the fact that cassies and ELF also support Li Yin warm our hearts.

In fact, she really produced a good album. Or else her 'I Will' album wouldn't manage to get into Melon charts (for the album sales)...

Okay, enough for the rant....

That's all

I hope everyone would support Hangeng's album as well...^^


Friday, July 30, 2010

No Other and Lucifer???

Currently I'm listening to I have nothing... *sigh*... such a beautiful song... I'm listening to Zhang Li Yin's version though.

The way she pronounce some of the lyrics is actually quite funny. I bet she don't know much of english based on what I know bout her... she's lucky she's a chinese... lol... I mean, chinese people are everywhere... so, shouldn't be much problem rite? and her korean is actually better than Hangeng or Hankyung... keke...

I'm going back tomorrow.... T___T I'll be missing home again... Abah had gone to Malacca this evening because Mak Long suddenly admitted to the hospital due to... urm... I don't really know bout that.

Super Junior's No Other did manage to make me smile... Did I mention before, Bonamana didn't even get close to my expectations? That's why I'm not really surprised with the popularity of the song. No offence here E.L.F... I would never offend E.L.F coz most of them always support us chocolates...^^

What I mean here... same with 'Moving On' from Li Yin's 2nd single. I don't really like the song at first and her image is too... -_-"
But, as time goes by, I could accept it simply because I like her way too much. Her vocal on stage is really something... always leaving me in awe...

urm... where were we just now? Ah right, Super Junior's No Other... Yeah... the song portray so much fairytale like love stories.... and I like the music there...^^

Talking bout music, it made me suddenly thought of Lucifer, SHINee's album. At first, I didn't really care bout that, but when one day chocolates started to spazz around about Minho thanks to on the album... and he mentioned bout Li Yin in there. (if you ask me why a simple thanks made us spazz like mad, then, figure it yourself...^^)

and so, I paid attention to Lucifer... okay, mainly because of Hajar... First time I heard the song, compared to the other songs before, the music sounds more vigorous. Some didn't agree with the use of the word Lucifer. If any of you don't know, Lucifer = the devil/satan.

Basically, in bible,
Lucifer was created by God, and was once a perfect and beautiful cherub or angel (Ezekiel 28:14-15). He was created to serve and worship God, but he was created with the ability to have freedom of choice. Lucifer chose to serve himself instead of God. His heart became filled with pride because of his beauty, (Ezekiel 28:17) and he became rebellious (disobedient) against God. He believed he could be like God the most High (Isaiah 14:13-15). God then cast Lucifer out of heaven because of his sin (Isaiah 14:12; Ezekiel 28:15-19).

I know in this song, lucifer would be described as the devil who trapped someone in the love game. So, it didn't mean it in religious way but more in literal way... So, why lucifer? Because lucifer tempted people... lucifer is also full of pride because of his beauty.

Lucifer had always been used from long ago to reflect a girl's behaviour literally...

Okay, enough with this lucifer thingy because it made my head ache...-_-"
Lucifer got too much definition from christian, jews...bla...bla...bla

From the album, I found one song which I think at least reach my expectation. I think that song contains mostly Onew and Joghyun voices. Well, at least this album got some songs with meanings rather than their songs before...

Thinking about it now, wow... It's been quite long since I started viewing k-pop. I'm pretty much a sunbae now... Lol...

Like one of my friends said, "tsk... tsk... ai... nin lao le!!!" lol...^^

That's all!

Till then,


Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Home again :)

I'm home!!! Couldn't really describe the feelings but it felt really different being here again. I can't believe I'm finally back to the place where I belong. Somehow, the last day I'm at USIM, before holiday, I could feel something tugging onto my heart. I don't know why but it seemed like I'm also belong to that place. Hard to describe... But, it's nothing.

4 days left before going back to USIM... *sigh* I know eventually, I have to go... I have to go back to claim my place...

I got many new readers and I'm really excited about that. But, I have to curb my enthusiasm from letting myself posted all the chapters or else I would have nothing to post later... Aiisshh! So much for being a writer here... -_-"

Currently listening to Untouchable, 'It's okay'... a very beautiful song indeed and also the inspiration for my story, PIECES...

I think I have to start packing or else I wouldn't know what to bring back. I want to bring some clothes... and (many) food...^^

I'm waiting for e-mail from that chen hao guy. Who is he??? hehe... my boyfriend...
Gotcha!!! Hehe... Just kidding. He's a friend of mine. Let me tell u one secret, his english sucks... but, he still try his best to write to me. Well, I don't really remember much chinese vocab for me to read chinese. It'll take forever!!!

Anyway, though I do have many chinese friends but since their english is very good and fluent, we don't have much problems to communicate. I just use simple chinese words written in pinyin with them...

Like, 'wan an', 'wo xiangnian ni', 'wo ai ni', 'wo jue de bu shufu', 'Ni hao ma'...etc...

haha... curious much? I guess you know what those words mean...

okay, DearlC just updated her fanfic. I'm going to read them... hehe...

Have anyone listened/watched/saw Taeyang's 'I Need a girl'... Gosh!!! It's gross!!! Geez~ Where's the innocent boy I knew before??? But, got to admit he's charismatic on stage... But, still... my heart already belonged to Zhang Li Yin... Ha3

her latest pic made me jiggy all over... Hua3... Got to stop that!


Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Happy Birthday to Kinah!!!

I guess it’s just an epic failure trying to keep myself from posting new entries into this blog. -_-“

Anyway, welcome to the new readers! And also hello to old readers or is it just a reader??? x___x

In this not so humble entry of mine, I’m just going to rant as usual. So, if you’re already…-_-“…. as soon as you read this, please politely click the ‘x’ button up there…

It’s now, 7.15p.m and I’m at my home… oppss… I mean hostel listening to songs like I always do…

I wonder what’s up with my other friends out there. Or are they already forgetting me??? If so, then….. *sigh*…

Maybe, I should sing ‘I have nothing’ since I really have nothing to say about. Boring right? Again, please politely click the ‘x’ button up there if you feel so…: p

Okay, practically I have many things to rant about but I don’t feel like writing it here anyway. I don’t expect you guys are happy to read them. It’s definitely boring right?

I don’t care anymore.... One of these days, chemistry will definitely be the death of the great (???) Sya’ak Lee... x___x At least, I can understand physics but definitely not chemistry. It’s just -_-“

Practically, there’s nothing easy right? But, chemistry is just too…. -_-“

Enough about me…

Okay, It's Sakinah's birthday today... so, what else?? Happy Birthday!!!!

I can't wait to go home (i mean in Terengganu) and sleep... :p

Till then,

Written on Monday, 19th July 2010

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Moving On (1st story...^^)

I thought I already posted up 'Moving On' here before. But, I just realized, I posted it up on my other blog and in Chocolyn... Hehe

Anyway, I decided to post it here. Please comment on my writing...^^

Now, that I thought about it, it's actually not my first story. But rather the very first story in english that I published here...

Just to warn you guys, it's definitely a sad story...

Moving On

Inspired fully by Zhang Li Yin’s song, Moving On a.k.a Sunny day, Rainy day

“I’m sorry…” with those words, he walked away from me leaving me alone. Why? Why did he do this to me? Unconsciously, my body already slumped onto the ground as my knees weakened. Tears flowed uncontrollably. Is this the feeling? Is this the feeling of a broken heart? If that’s so, then Lord, please kill me for I can’t stand this feeling anymore. It’s unbearable. My chest tightened. I don’t care if people said I’m crazy since to me, life is worthless. I’m already broken…

I came out from the bathroom after the long shower. I’m so tired today considering that we had to work overtime to meet the deadline. My left hand reached for the mug while my other hand took the spoon. I made my favorite coffee with mind full of thoughts. Well, mostly about work. The smell of the coffee filled my nose as I poured in hot water. After finished making the coffee, I went to sit on the couch in front of the big window. The night view here is very beautiful which was the reason why I bought this condominium. Sipping the coffee, memories flowed back into my mind.

Some people said that five years are quite long. But to me, it felt just like yesterday I went home crying and crying again until my brother came and asked me what happened. Our parents died in an accident when I was 2 years old so my brother brought me to country side and took care of me. I barely remembered them. I just grew up only with the irrevocable love given by my brother and the pictures of our parents. I fell asleep after hours of crying. As far as I remember, after that day, we moved to U.S and I finished my studies and graduated there. Finally, I came back to work here as my brother assigned me to take over the company’s branch here. As for him, he had to stay in U.S to manage the company. I think he felt that I’m already big enough to live by myself.

My lips curved to form small smile thinking about how protective he is when it comes to things involving me. My gaze suddenly diverted to the painting situated on the wall beside the window. It was the first thing that caught my eyes after I went back to our old house. I don’t know why, I just couldn’t throw it even though it reminded me so much about him – the one that broke my heart. As if on cue, rain suddenly started to fall. Through the window, I could clearly see the rain. I just couldn’t deny the little shattering pain that slowly burning in my heart. Yes, it’s hurt but I’m already too used to it. That’s why I said five years wasn’t long – it’s just not long enough for me to forget him…

I was on my way to meet a client at a café when I spotted a very familiar figure stood in front of my car. When I saw her, my feet immediately froze. Sensing my presence, she turned around and smiled at me. With all my might, I smiled back while trying to hide my mixed feelings. I can’t let my guard down in front of her. I just can’t. It was then I realized that she was no longer wearing the diamond ring that he gave her 5 years ago. Instead, she wore a very simple ring which suddenly reminds me of something happened 5 years ago.
“I think she will like this one,” I pointed a simple yet elegant ring to grab my brother’s attention. He turned his gaze to the ring pointed by me and smiled.
“I’ll take this one!” He said excitedly.

“Can we talk for a while?” her voice suddenly brings me back to the reality. I looked at her for awhile before nodding my head. I called my one of the manager to replace me meeting the client. We then proceed to the restaurant near my office. It’s a high class restaurant and there’s only two couples eating there that time. It’s surely a perfect place for us to have a serious talk. I ordered cappuccino and she ordered latte, my brother’s favorite drink. After the young waitress gone, she took out a black box and a letter.
“I’m sorry for everything happened 5 years ago,” she narrated. I sensed a trace of regrets formed in her eyes.
“I think you should read this first before I explain everything to you…” She handed the letter and the box to me. My hands slightly trembled as I opened the letter.

My dear princess,
I hope you’re doing very well now. I know you will because you’re a very strong girl. If you’re reading this, it means I didn’t make it. But, don’t cry because you’ll hurt me. I’m watching you from up here… I’m sorry for breaking your heart because I don’t want you to see me dying. Don’t get angry at my ‘girlfriend’, she just trying to help me and she’s in love with your brother!

I loved you and will always love you…
With love,
Your Prince

I noticed tears flowed down wetting the letter. My heart shattered again into pieces. You jerk! Why did I ever fall in love with you?!!! How could you abandon me just because you’re dying!

“He got a brain tumor. The moment he was being told by the doctor that his chance of surviving was less than 10%, he asked me to become his fake ‘girlfriend’. I finally agreed when he begged me. He loved you so much that he didn’t want you to see him die because he knew you also loved him as much as he did. He thought if he broke up with you, you’ll move on and find another guy. Your brother went to find him the day he broke up with you. I saw your brother punched him but he didn’t hit back nor ran away. Luckily I was there and I was the one who explained it to him. He begged your brother to bring you away as you might hear people talking about his death. After he died, I went to U.S to find your brother and give these to you. But, when he told me about your condition, I know, it’s not the right time to give these to you. After you came back here, we discussed about it and he finally agreed that we can’t keep this secret from you anymore. I’m sorry…” She looked in my eyes and I could see tears threatened to fall from her eyes.

“This is the ring that he wanted to give you as your birthday present…” she continued. I opened the box. It’s a diamond ring with the word ‘princess’ carved on it. “Tell me where his grave…is” I tried to speak calmly almost whispering even if I already couldn’t hold the tears.

I put the yellow acacia on his grave. The diamond ring shone brightly on my right hand. I smiled.
“How are you? See… I’m smiling now. Remember you used to give the yellow acacia before we started to date. Let me tell you a secret… Actually, I already know the meaning of yellow acacia. But, I just wanted to torture you a little bit by acting dumb…” I chuckled when I remembered the days before he confessed to me. My vision suddenly blurred as tears formed in my eyes.
“I wish I would never do that and we would probably spend more time together…” I whispered.

My brother had moved here since he’ll get married by the end of this month. He already moved the company centre here as he planned to settle down here. I quitted my job the day after he came back. I knew, he was worried about me but I assured him I would be just fine because I’m no longer the little girl who always clung onto him before. I joined the volunteer team to help children around the world.

As for my memories with him, I decided to keep it deep in my heart. Some of my friends said that I still couldn’t let him go. I didn’t deny it. He’s my first love and probably my last love because even if I want to let go and walk forward alone, I know, I’ll never be alone for his memories still live inside my heart forever…

The sound of the rain outside the window echoes throughout the empty room
In my dreams I pray tomorrow will be a sunny day
The last kiss goodbye; how can I not yearn for you
I'll regard it as a keepsake, a memento of your farewell

Memories keep me company throughout the long lonely nights
Sunlight quietly streams into my room
Why do I feel this little shattering pain
Slowly burning into my heart; I miss your face

Standing at the boundary between a sunny and rainy day
Should I smile or should I cry
Just let myself fall apart

Standing at the boundary between a sunny and rainy day
I want to let go and walk forward alone
But I discover I haven't gone far at all

My thoughts spread, my steps refuse to go forward
Retreating to once again welcome that dilemma
Why can't I reach the side of the sunny day
My expression is already exhausted, but I still don't regret

Standing at the boundary between a sunny and rainy day
Should I smile or should I cry
Just let myself fall apart

Standing at the boundary between a sunny and rainy day
I want to let go and walk forward alone
But I discover I haven't gone far at all

Standing at the boundary between a sunny and rainy day
Should I smile or should I cry
Just let myself fall apart

Standing at the boundary between a sunny and rainy day
I want to let go and walk forward alone
But I realize I can't stop these tears

Date finished: 15 March 2010, 06.25p.m

p/s : To those who don't know about this, yellow acacia means secret love

Standing at the boundary between a sunny and rainy day means like the person doesn't know what to do and where to go... That's why this song also named as 'Moving On' as the person actually couldn't let go the past and open up to the future. Basically, it's what you feel when you broke up.

Thanks for reading...^^

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Me as Sya'ak

I’m actually writing this on Microsoft word first before posting it on this blog. Maybe I think I’ll need a longer time to edit this post… urmm… don’t know.

Not that I never realized this, but this blog is like my own diary… But, it’s more about what happened in my life compared to my real diary. Yes, I did have a personal diary and it’s in this computer… hihi… Probably I’ve accustomed myself to type rather than writing it with my own hands. Remember, I’m a writer… You don’t expect me to write them all on papers right. I still loved trees though sometimes I do realize about my certain habit of wasting foolscap papers… After all, it’s just a foolscap paper right? Indeed…*nodding2*

I tend to write about my feelings in my diary… I mean… describing my feelings very detailed without telling the events on that day and the reason why I felt like that... After all, someday, I’ll read it back right? And I don’t like the idea of me remembering back the sad or painful or embarrassing events that happened at that time… Just reminisce about the feelings I experienced that time. We should let bygone be bygone right? So, no need to fuss over the past… when I read my diary back, I realized, life is indeed not a bed of roses… of course… Come on guys, we’re standing on the earth now!

Well, maybe some of you are hoping for me to continue writing about my life in USIM… but sad to said, I don’t have that intention… yet. Because currently I’m quite pissed off with certain things that happened here. Just give me some time to calm my anger down… I think most of you already know about my temper… ^^

I’m actually having fun visiting Chocolyn nowadays though there’re certain things made me became…-_-“ Anyway, there’s more news about her nowadays and that made me really happy. *sigh*… I hope I could read mandarin characters… T___T

The secret to being Sya’ak Lee… Haha… Is it really important??? Anyway, looks like I’m just going to write random things today… What’s actually the secret??? Walking confidently under the rain??? Hak3… Actually there’s no secret… I am just me… huhu… Anyway, the random things I’m going to post now is the clash of personality between Sya’ak Lee and aiLee… to those who doesn’t seem to know aiLee, she’s actually like my other personality mostly when I’m writing stories or fanfic… No need to be scared… I’m not a psycho… Geez~ I did write on the ‘about me’ section, ‘The real me is the one that lies within me’…. Just figure it yourself and that’s the time you’ll finally realize the real me… ^^

Clash of Personality (Sya’ak Lee vs aiLee)

Sya’ak Lee

  • Get mad easily when things didn’t turn out like what she wanted
  • Love her family and friends too much
  • Doesn’t drool on hot/cute/handsome/good looking guy like any other girls…LoL…^^
  • Prefer to sleep a lot when problems come up rather than facing the problems =) (Kata Cg Hamid; “Tidurlah… bila kamu bangun, semuanya akan hilang…”)
  • Good at giving excuses, but always messed up with the stories…hehe
  • Love cooking...^^
  • Has the tendency to be biased when it comes to the person she loved.
  • Like to read psychological/philosophy books
  • Can change 360 degree minus celcius when facing people she hated. (Didn’t really show in front of someone when she hate that someone)
  • Procrastinate a lot…
  • Dominating
  • Like her eyes because it scares people…huhu
  • Love Keroppi/Keroro because all it did was only smiling and looking at her with its big eyes even when she cried or mad or simply happy…
  • Love means hurting and it’s tiring
  • Talk a lot


  • Doesn’t get mad easily because she’ll just laugh at others stupidity and sometimes her own…^^
  • aiLee is an escapade from Sya’ak’s ‘crazy’ life…huhu
  • Creative at creating stories (work very well with Sya’ak when didn’t/couldn’t/ mostly just lazy to finish the homework…LoL…)
  • Prefer cute guy…^^
  • Rarely being biased (Prefer to view things from both sides)
  • Cooking?? hurm… prefer to eat…^^
  • Always daydreaming to find a good storyline… (blamed by Sya’ak when got bad results in exams…hihi)
  • Love to fool around
  • Like to mock Sya’ak…
  • Like her eyes because they’re simply big…^^
  • Doesn’t really like Keroppi (or Keroro like what Sya’ak called that thing) because it’s simply annoying.
  • Love = Happily ever after… (How sweet…^^)
  • Prefer to read rather than talk

p/s: This is just a random one... pls don't keep it in ur mind... hak3

Anyway, that's me as a certain Nursyakirah Binti Razalli...