Saturday, February 25, 2017

I'm alive

How would my life be like after 5 years?

      I posed this exact question to myself 5 years ago and this is how the teenage me answered the question...

"Now~ this is something that I like but I also hate this… Kinda ironic huh?
Why I hate this topic?
Simple. Because it’s something in the future.  Something that you’ll never know until you figure it out.
But still,,, I like imagining things of how it would be in the future…"

       Recently, I had a great time browsing down the memory lane after I managed to recover the hard disk from my old laptop. Those who knew me might notice that my laptop was/is my everything. I always have my laptop with me no matter how heavy it was. I did everything using my laptop. Writing, editing, music, reading... and most importantly, it had a huge chunk of my memories.

      After the laptop that I used back in 2009-2011 broke, all the stuff in the hard disk was left untouched. Like a frozen memory, it's stuck, until I recovered them. Honestly, 5 years weren't that long. Everything passes by in a blink but going through those memories made me realize, I am no longer the same person.

      In the frozen memory, I discovered tons of writings. I guess one thing that stayed the same was the only way for me to truly express myself is through writing. When I think back to those days when I battled depression, it's amazing that I even made it here. It's amazing that I could be positive again. It's amazing how I could look in the mirror and smile.

      It's truly amazing that I could truly smile, laugh and cry instead of smiling and crying when I did not feel anything. During those time, like an empty shell, I could not feel anything. It seems surreal sometimes that I once battled depression in the past.

After all these years, I realize one thing,

I'm alive!