Monday, December 27, 2010

The truest of the true, honesty?

Feeling bored now but with mind full of thoughts... Arrgghh! I'm thinking too much again...

Right, blame the definition essay... yeah, rite...

I, Sya'ak Lee, definitely hate factual essays! But, I did found out something...

Honesty is really such a lonely word. Walking throughout life, it's hard to find honesty in people. Even I, myself often lying to myself.

I'd rather have someone being honest to me and cry rather telling me pretty lies to make me smile. Coz after sometimes, the truth will be too painful to be accepted and I'd end up lying to myself.

Even so, it's hard to find the truest of the true. Funny isn't it? I never believe in sweet words. Because like I said, being honest might be hard sometimes, but better had it hard earlier rather than having a broken heart later.

It's hard enough living with the reality, don't lie just to make others happy for in the end, there'll be neither you nor me smiling upon the lies...

Monday, December 20, 2010

Through the memories









 
How long has it been? 1 year? Or maybe less… But, deep in my heart, I always those moments we’re together. I admit, there are times that I feel so down… but, even then, we’re always together… People may change but my love for you will never change…

 Memories... How precious...

 

Friday, December 10, 2010

Just a little words

Sometimes short

Sometimes long

Sometimes laugh

Sometimes frets

or sometimes fears

Sometimes tears

Maybe... Just maybe...

would it make a difference?

As the wind passes by,

followed by the unnoticeable dust

would it be me?

Maybe... Just maybe...

This is a dream...

-Sya'ak Lee-

Friday, 10/12/2010
1:57p.m

Life... It's just like that...

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

New semester, New start

Coming back to Nilai, I was literally dead when I arrived at my so called lovely dorm... ermm... more like house actually... lol... It's already the 2nd day we're starting the 2nd semester. I was quite shocked hearing the number of students eliminated and here I thought it's only me couldn't really follow the flow.

We, the science tech students were divided into 3 now. Truthfully, this 2nd semester seemed to be somewhat 'dry'... I don't know, but I don't really sense the passion. well, maybe the fact that we're dividing into three or something.

Maybe I should continue watching this scene... Given that there might be any interesting scene in the future... lol...

"Never stop believing for it's the source of ur strength"

That's what I put on my desktop... somehow I felt how ironic... I always have this kind of battle inside my brain. Sometimes I felt that there's no use in hoping when I, in the first place never initiate everything. I mean it felt somehow ridiculous. Not giving enough and then hoping for something in return when you, in the first place neglect everything.

Well, it seemed like I had already activated the sarcastic side of me again... Better be careful coz this side of me actually have had enough caring for others so instead it became somewhat... sarcastic.. lol...

I'm still hoping that those who had been eliminated would be back... Well, let's pray for them then...

Anyway, new semester, new start! Let's work towards our goal or dream!

Even if it means 'die'

lol...^^

Till then,

Bye!

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Dont cry anymore...

Entah...
Tak dapat pikir pape pun skrg...
Bukan,
sebetulnya, terlalu banyak yang bermain dalam fikiran sekarang...

Melayu? English? Mandarin? Hangul?
Nak gune bhs ape utk describe semua ni?

Lepas bce N3 kat blog Kak Kiah.... Finally, I had the gut to accept it... to admit it... that, she's already gone...

Tapi, kenapa baru start tulis N3 ni, aku tetibe rase lain?

Sedih?

No... It can't be sad... Sebab pengakhiran dia disini adalah permulaan kehidupan dia yang bahagia di sana...

But, why does this tears won't stop flowing???

*********************
That day, 5.30a.m... Aku tibe2 terbangun... Ada orang call? Rumahku syurgaku? Mata masih dalam keadaan separuh terbuka bile aku angkat call...

"Assalamualaikum. Kak ngah, mak nak bagitau ni... Mak Su dah tak de... Mak akan gi KL pg ni dengan flight..."

Innalillah... Aku msih mneruskn perbualan ringkas ngan mak. Bgtau dia, ak ade exam BI n BA hari ni... Mak kate, tak payah la datang...

Beep... Talian diputuskan...

Funny how I refused to admit it. I stood and went out of the room. Hanya ade Hajar kt luar. Nak bgtau ke tak? Tapi, mulut aku terkunci... It really felt like there was a large lump in my throat...

Msuk ke bilik pikah n dbah utk gosok baju... Lampu tak buke... Slowly, the tears flowed. My lips formed a small smile in that dark room... can't let others saw it... I just wanted to be alone...

Lepas gosok baju, masuk dalam bilik. Langsung tak cakap ape2 kat umi n hajar. Baring atas katil n selubung dgn comforter... and the tears flowed again... wanting to sleep... hoping that when I woke up, it's just a nightmare...

6.30 pg... bangun lg... Rupenye tu adlh realiti...

Dalam bas, duduk tepi Hajar... Tapi, tak nak ckp ape2... Cume tersnyum pahit jer bile Hajar cakap... Nak bagitau... Tapi, kate2 tu tak mmpu keluar... Hajar, Mak su aku da tak de... tapi, ia tetap tak keluar...

Sampai kat stadium nilai... aku tepuk Hajar... "Aku nak bagitau something... nanti aku msg"... Tapi, bazir kredit jer... so, aku terus taip. Tangan terketar sikit... then, pass kat Hajar...

Hajar, Mak su ak da tak de

Dia terus pandang aku lepas dia bace. "Iye ker? Innalillah... Bile?"

"5.30 pg td..." ak ketap bibir. Air mate b'tkung lagi kt mate... Ak senyum kat dier... n berpaling utk keluar... nampak ctie...

aku tak nak orang lain nampak aku nangis... aku tak biase... ak tak suke... mungkin aku ego... Tapi, air mata ni jela yang aku ada dari dulu lagi everytime I'm depressed..

coz tears are human's weakness... and I refused to accept sympathy from others... I don't need others coz I know, I have Allah...

then, aku msg ctie...

kuar kejap, aku ada kat luar...

tak lame lepas tu, die kuar. aku diam jer. Taip lagi kat hp, then pass kat ctie...

"Innalillah... bile?"

"Pagi tadi... mak aku call..." and finally, I cried freely... but still controlling it... afraid that it would catch others' attention...

I already taught myself not to let others see my tears... It's a vow...

But... of course ctie is a different case...

Lepas, BI, petang... aku keluar awal... sorang jer... then I walked to the quite isolated place... but not too far away...

There, I look up at the sky... Talking to myself... hoping that she could hear me...

jenazah dah ditanam mase tu... aku tau... coz, sebelum tu abah call...

Ak senyum lagi... Air mata mengalir lagi... murahnye air mata aku saat tu...

Cepatnyer mase berlalu...

Teringat bile mak su datang umh...
mak su selalu gaduh ngan din... sbb din nakal... tak dengar cakap mak... mak su marah...
mak su anyam sesuatu gune tali... Dia kate tu ikan paus...
mak su selalu gune bedak echanteur... warne kuning...
mak su suke nyanyi... "Padi la padi... sayang ku sayang..." bunyinye lebih kurang cmtu la...
bile mak su nak tengok drama melayu, confirm mak tak marah... (mak mrh ktorg tgk drama2...)

Bile kitorg sampai umh mak cik esah, dia la org pertama yg kami nmpk...

Tapi, tu dulu...

Bile aku tau mak su kene kanser, aku tak kate ape2... tapi, aku sangat sedih... takut suatu hari dia akan betul2 tinggalkn kami...

tapi, pengakhiran dia disini, adalah permulaan dia disana... aku patut hepi kn?

Mak su tak ada dosa... Mungkin sekarang mak su dah jumpe ngan adik Madihah... kan? Ak selalu senyum bile fikir tu... Mak su n adik Madihah dah ada kat syurga sekarang...

Bile aku melwat mak su, tiap2 kali, aku harap sangat dia tak lupe aku...

Dia tak pernah lupe...

Dia panggil aku kak ngah...

Dia tahu...

Mase kat ICU, aku masuk sorang2... Tengok tangan dia ada banyak wayar. Aku nak dia sembuh...

Aku tau dia sakit...

Hari last aku jumpe dia, sebelum minggu study... dia nangis... kate nak balik...

dia kenal kami semua... aku, along, k.chah, k.eda, Mak long yah... aku tak tau nak buat ape bile dia nangis...

aku tau... dia sakit... n aku tak nak dia sakit...

***********************
Pagi sabtu baru2 ni... mase aku baru sampai terengganu...

mak cakap... dia cam dengar suara mak su... suara mak su mengaji...
mak ketawa pahit... dia kate dia tahu mak su memang la tak pandai mengaji... tapi, dia cam terdengar je... suara tu...

aku tau mak rindu kat mak su... satu2nye adik dier...
dulu, mak selalu cakap, dia nak suruh mak su datang cnie... dia nak jage mak su...
dia tak punye peluang yang banyak untuk jage mak su...
aku tau dia rindu mak su...

Dahla...

Don't cry anymore...

Mereka yang dah pergi nampak kite menangis...

Therefore, Let's not cry anymore...

Monday, October 18, 2010

Back again~

If you notice, I already removed the on-hiatus term. Meaning that I'm back! lol...

Ignore it...

so, Why the sudden change?

I got an e-mail recently from my so called secret admirer telling me to quit living like this. Strange. Seemed like she understands me so much though we just only knew each other not more than 6 months. But, no matter how, I know she's telling me to live my life not to waste my life. Knowing that writing is my life and all that...

Now, people might question why they always see me carrying my laptop around? lol...

Simple. Coz it's my life. What did I write? Diary?

No. Not necessarily... coz if any of you ever read my diary, you won't really understand what I wrote. It's pretty much like a poem rather than a diary.

In a simple word, I've already grown attached to this lappy...

Final exam is coming soon... Yeah... I know, I know...

I'm a mess... T___T



physics? Math? biscuit? hp? and definitely my beloved lappy? ^^

Life is really that difficult, huh?

Currently listening to random songs... x__X

I.DON'T.WANT.TO.GO.TO.THE.CAMPUS.TOMORROW!!!!!

Enough with the whine...

So, anyone have the song Saleem, tinggal kenangan??? I've been wanting to listen to it... Missing home? probably... coz I called it as our song...

I'm getting strange cravings for plum nowadays...lol... Not really strange coz I've always like that fruit... Last time I tried to find plum at Giant Nilai didn't found it... T___T

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Final

It's really been a long time since I visit this blog. Not that I already forgot bout this blog, but it's just due to other things I got to do. I'm actually also on-hiatus term for my fanfics and other blogs except for one.

I'm still actually on-hiatus but today, I just felt like posting up a new n3...

2 weeks more... It seemed like I'm hyperventilating more nowadays... Even the slightest mistake could make me suddenly angry (well, given my temper)...

Don't know how to describe it. But, it definitely got something to do with the final exam... I wish I could calm myself now.

Sometimes, I asked myself, what am I doing here? and the answer??? that's for me to know and for you to figure out.

Now, just please don't ask me that question coz I couldn't give the answer to you...

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Yes or No???


I'm still contemplating whether to post or not an n3 written by me yesterday. Basically it's just too long... lol...

I got to see Li Yin's new selcas today... hehe...

Maybe after this, I won't be updating this blog for a period of time. I think I spent too much time on this blog and neglected my fic's readers. It actually made me happy reading their comments. An author will be happy if someone like her story right? that's typical...

This blog is made because of .... I can't remember why I made this blog around two years ago...

It always made me wonder whether if there's anyone reading the n3s here... or is it just me? But, one thing for sure I know a very certain someone who would read my entries... and she's the reason why I always updated this blog. But, I guess she'll be too busy nowadays to spend some of her times to read my rants... lol

and therefore, there's no point if i update this right?

definitely...
Besides, I have to finish some projects on9 which involved me...

sooo tired~

Okay...

So, Yes or No??? urmm... still thinking~

Please take notice, if there's a -on-hiatus- notice, that's mean, I'm not going to update until the end of September or maybe october... it depends...

Daa~

Chalgayo~


Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Another Rant~

Yesterday... if anyone notice my post on FB which stated "After all these years, you just failed to understand me...." is it? I think it sounded pretty much like that.

I don't know why I was so upset yesterday reading something somewhere... and you know what, that's what I feel... I thought I already knew it. I thought I could already live with it. I thought I could just let it pass. But, finally I know, I can’t… I just can’t.

Don't want to talk much bout that.... actually, becoz of that, I was moody until Hajar and Umi said something funny.... Hak3

I'm going to Along's place this weekends... First and foremost, got to claim my RM20 from her... hehe

lalala~

Okay, study2!!

Daa~

p/s: Another one week and we got to see Li Yin again.... :)

Monday, August 16, 2010

It's tiring

Isn't it?

Today, wake up at 5.00a.m then sahur then go back to sleep then wake up at 6.45a.m then solat subuh then take a bath then dress up then take the bag then walk down the stairs then wait for the bus then wait and wait again...

hehe

I arrived at USIM around 8.17a.m... Class started at 8.30a.m... still early~ Living a life like this is tiring right? waiting... waiting... and waiting... with no end!
Pathetic isn't it? -_-"

I missed being home~

I spent my weekends with along, ctie and Mak chik's family... and we go back to Melaka... but not nyalas... and we went to visit Mak Long in Malacca Hospital...

and just like that, I finished my weekends...

This coming Thursday, there'll be a math quiz... Geez~ These quizzes will definitely be the death of me one of these days...

Oh, did I mention I got a very bad result for the recent bio quiz? The answer is simple, I forgot to study~ T___T

Depressing isn't it? I think people around me are more depressed when they looked how I manage my own life... Well, can't do anything bout that... I'm living my own life... haha

Not funny...

19 days to go... Urm... So, what am I going to eat for berbuka today??? It doesn't matter... After all we eat because we're hungry... So the aim is for the hunger to go far far away...
Okay, I think I'm being ridiculous here...
Definitely....

Time's up! Got to go praying now...

Daa~

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Selamat Berpuasa!

and as the title said; Selamat Berpuasa kepada semua pembaca2 'It's yOu anD mE' yang beragama islam... hehe...

First time fasting far awaaaaaayyyyy from home... T___T

Anyway, we're planning to go to Mak Chik's house this saturday... Me, along and ctie... huhu

I was very2 upset that I couldn't really answer the mid sem question... T___T

Domu2 himdureo....

Thanks to all the people that wish me luck for my exam... Friends in USIM, dib, Mir, Teen2, ctie, Friends in fanfic community... etc2...

Looks like I have to work harder from now on!

Sya'ak, Jia you!

Thanks!

Daa~

p/s: I'm so happy with the Chocolyn's new theme...^^

Saturday, July 31, 2010

(Review) 庚心 (Hangeng's album, Geng's Heart)

So, who's exactly this dude?

He's Hankyung, a former Super Junior member as well as the former leader of Super Junior M... I'm not going to talk about the lawsuit thingy coz it made me feel quite sad...

Anyway, it's a relief that he's leading this kind of life. Hangeng didn't sign any contract as an artist with any other companies right now. He just signed a record label for his album to be released in asia...

I didn't really pay attention to this before because I know his vocal would never manage to impress me. Suddenly, I have a thought of reviewing his songs today.... and I did!

First of all, in terms of vocal, I'm not really impressed. I would just say, okay, he could sing... that's it. He got this typical chinese singer's type of vocal which is slow and calming... It's far away differ than Li Yin's vocal which is so strong...^^

Surprisingly, it managed to capture my ear. He managed to portray the emotions in the song very well! Which song did I talk about? It's 'Say No'... I'm impressed! Really... I'm not going to post up the lyrics for that song, but, just so you know, 'Say No' really reflect Hangeng's life. It's like telling people what he felt when he was in Super Junior. You'll understand me if you're a true ELF...

Another song managed to capture my heart is 'Wings of love'... The song was written by Hangeng's fan back in 2007... It's a touching song and the lyrics was written beautifully. Somehow I think this song managed to give courage to Hangeng to keep holding on during his hard times...

After all, it's the love between Super Junior and ELF made me drawn into them in the first place...

The latest song released is 'My Logo'... This song is a collaboration between composers from all over the world. “My Logo” is a work featured as dance music, the creation, record, production of this song can be said as a large scale of international collaboration. Four American producers, Tearce Kizzo Keaz, Craig Williams, Rene Van Versaveld, Francesca Richard, allied with godfather of Taiwan dance music A Zai Di, all worked together to make this song accomplished. The dance for this song is devotedly composed by Michael Jackson’s team.

I'm really looking forward to the live performance for this song...^^

Hangeng and Michael Jackson's dance team...

Also, when I said Hangeng didn't sign under any company before rite? It's because neither SM nor him were backing off from the lawsuit. So, basically, he's still under SM in certain terms.

In Taiwan, his album would be released by ‘Golden Typhoon’, and Han Geng is officially Show Luo’s junior in the company. He's pretty close to Show Luo...^^

If you ask me about 'My Logo', urm... the music at the beginning reminded me of xiahtic... Nevertheless it got a new fresh feel in it...

"Han Geng was once chosen to be the ambassador for protecting the Great Wall of China. He held his press conference at the Great Wall of China on 22nd June. 5000 balloons printed with ‘Geng’ were released into the air over there. He also announced that he will hold two solo concerts in Beijing on the 17th and 18th of July. He most probably would be in Taiwan to meet his fans in August.

Han Geng who seems to gain weight, was smiling throughout the conference and expressed that he is very happy at the moment. He also stated that being a soloist is to be more loyal to his heart. He also revealed that he is learning under Michael Jackson’s choreographer, becoming Michael Jackson’s junior.

As for the concert, Han Geng is really excited. He expressed that this is his first time holding a concert as a soloist so it means a lot to him. He uses his concert to promote his album, other than singing his songs; he would also be exposing the songs in his new album as well. As for his concert’s guests, he is not willing to say anything."

I'm wishing he would somehow bring back Li Yin to China... I mean... Li Yin would've probably got tons of songs if she's not under SM now.

and I think I know why Li Yin didn't participate the World Expo in China... It's because Hangeng is one of the ambassadors for the the World Expo...

Geez~ SM already lose someone who made Suju managed to break into Chinese market. If SM lose Li Yin, it would probably take forever for them to break into Chinese market again. We did know China is one of the biggest market range in the world and the fact they're losing TVXQ to break into Japan's market is just...... and same with China market, to break into Japan's market alone is very very hard...

Now, it seemed like they only have Korean market... So, do u think by using SHINee, f(x) and SNSD would made them much money? I don't think so... because if you look closely, though SNSD, SHINee and f(x) got sooooo much fans all over the world, but hey, did they really buy the album? Or just download them from the internet??? Think over it...

Illegal downloading is strictly prohibited in japan. So how do you think fans of TVXQ listen to the songs? Yeah, of course by buying their albums... After all, TVXQ is the only korean artist who got the biggest fanbase all over the world... and the first korean group to become the 1st in the world to break the highest album sales record!

lol... the last 3 paragraphs are so out of the topic... But still, I need to vent my anger... and I did mention, Chocolates are not as much as other fanbases. But, the fact that cassies and ELF also support Li Yin warm our hearts.

In fact, she really produced a good album. Or else her 'I Will' album wouldn't manage to get into Melon charts (for the album sales)...

Okay, enough for the rant....

That's all

I hope everyone would support Hangeng's album as well...^^

Bye

Friday, July 30, 2010

No Other and Lucifer???


Currently I'm listening to I have nothing... *sigh*... such a beautiful song... I'm listening to Zhang Li Yin's version though.

The way she pronounce some of the lyrics is actually quite funny. I bet she don't know much of english based on what I know bout her... she's lucky she's a chinese... lol... I mean, chinese people are everywhere... so, shouldn't be much problem rite? and her korean is actually better than Hangeng or Hankyung... keke...

I'm going back tomorrow.... T___T I'll be missing home again... Abah had gone to Malacca this evening because Mak Long suddenly admitted to the hospital due to... urm... I don't really know bout that.

Super Junior's No Other did manage to make me smile... Did I mention before, Bonamana didn't even get close to my expectations? That's why I'm not really surprised with the popularity of the song. No offence here E.L.F... I would never offend E.L.F coz most of them always support us chocolates...^^

What I mean here... same with 'Moving On' from Li Yin's 2nd single. I don't really like the song at first and her image is too... -_-"
But, as time goes by, I could accept it simply because I like her way too much. Her vocal on stage is really something... always leaving me in awe...

urm... where were we just now? Ah right, Super Junior's No Other... Yeah... the song portray so much fairytale like love stories.... and I like the music there...^^

Talking bout music, it made me suddenly thought of Lucifer, SHINee's album. At first, I didn't really care bout that, but when one day chocolates started to spazz around about Minho thanks to on the album... and he mentioned bout Li Yin in there. (if you ask me why a simple thanks made us spazz like mad, then, figure it yourself...^^)

and so, I paid attention to Lucifer... okay, mainly because of Hajar... First time I heard the song, compared to the other songs before, the music sounds more vigorous. Some didn't agree with the use of the word Lucifer. If any of you don't know, Lucifer = the devil/satan.

Basically, in bible,
Lucifer was created by God, and was once a perfect and beautiful cherub or angel (Ezekiel 28:14-15). He was created to serve and worship God, but he was created with the ability to have freedom of choice. Lucifer chose to serve himself instead of God. His heart became filled with pride because of his beauty, (Ezekiel 28:17) and he became rebellious (disobedient) against God. He believed he could be like God the most High (Isaiah 14:13-15). God then cast Lucifer out of heaven because of his sin (Isaiah 14:12; Ezekiel 28:15-19).

I know in this song, lucifer would be described as the devil who trapped someone in the love game. So, it didn't mean it in religious way but more in literal way... So, why lucifer? Because lucifer tempted people... lucifer is also full of pride because of his beauty.

Lucifer had always been used from long ago to reflect a girl's behaviour literally...

Okay, enough with this lucifer thingy because it made my head ache...-_-"
Lucifer got too much definition from christian, jews...bla...bla...bla

From the album, I found one song which I think at least reach my expectation. I think that song contains mostly Onew and Joghyun voices. Well, at least this album got some songs with meanings rather than their songs before...

Thinking about it now, wow... It's been quite long since I started viewing k-pop. I'm pretty much a sunbae now... Lol...

Like one of my friends said, "tsk... tsk... ai... nin lao le!!!" lol...^^

That's all!

Till then,

Bye...

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Home again :)

I'm home!!! Couldn't really describe the feelings but it felt really different being here again. I can't believe I'm finally back to the place where I belong. Somehow, the last day I'm at USIM, before holiday, I could feel something tugging onto my heart. I don't know why but it seemed like I'm also belong to that place. Hard to describe... But, it's nothing.

4 days left before going back to USIM... *sigh* I know eventually, I have to go... I have to go back to claim my place...

I got many new readers and I'm really excited about that. But, I have to curb my enthusiasm from letting myself posted all the chapters or else I would have nothing to post later... Aiisshh! So much for being a writer here... -_-"

Currently listening to Untouchable, 'It's okay'... a very beautiful song indeed and also the inspiration for my story, PIECES...

I think I have to start packing or else I wouldn't know what to bring back. I want to bring some clothes... and (many) food...^^

I'm waiting for e-mail from that chen hao guy. Who is he??? hehe... my boyfriend...
Gotcha!!! Hehe... Just kidding. He's a friend of mine. Let me tell u one secret, his english sucks... but, he still try his best to write to me. Well, I don't really remember much chinese vocab for me to read chinese. It'll take forever!!!

Anyway, though I do have many chinese friends but since their english is very good and fluent, we don't have much problems to communicate. I just use simple chinese words written in pinyin with them...

Like, 'wan an', 'wo xiangnian ni', 'wo ai ni', 'wo jue de bu shufu', 'Ni hao ma'...etc...

haha... curious much? I guess you know what those words mean...

okay, DearlC just updated her fanfic. I'm going to read them... hehe...

Have anyone listened/watched/saw Taeyang's 'I Need a girl'... Gosh!!! It's gross!!! Geez~ Where's the innocent boy I knew before??? But, got to admit he's charismatic on stage... But, still... my heart already belonged to Zhang Li Yin... Ha3

her latest pic made me jiggy all over... Hua3... Got to stop that!

Daa~

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Happy Birthday to Kinah!!!

I guess it’s just an epic failure trying to keep myself from posting new entries into this blog. -_-“

Anyway, welcome to the new readers! And also hello to old readers or is it just a reader??? x___x

In this not so humble entry of mine, I’m just going to rant as usual. So, if you’re already…-_-“…. as soon as you read this, please politely click the ‘x’ button up there…

It’s now, 7.15p.m and I’m at my home… oppss… I mean hostel listening to songs like I always do…

I wonder what’s up with my other friends out there. Or are they already forgetting me??? If so, then….. *sigh*…

Maybe, I should sing ‘I have nothing’ since I really have nothing to say about. Boring right? Again, please politely click the ‘x’ button up there if you feel so…: p

Okay, practically I have many things to rant about but I don’t feel like writing it here anyway. I don’t expect you guys are happy to read them. It’s definitely boring right?

I don’t care anymore.... One of these days, chemistry will definitely be the death of the great (???) Sya’ak Lee... x___x At least, I can understand physics but definitely not chemistry. It’s just -_-“

Practically, there’s nothing easy right? But, chemistry is just too…. -_-“

Enough about me…

Okay, It's Sakinah's birthday today... so, what else?? Happy Birthday!!!!

I can't wait to go home (i mean in Terengganu) and sleep... :p

Till then,
Daa~

Written on Monday, 19th July 2010

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Moving On (1st story...^^)

I thought I already posted up 'Moving On' here before. But, I just realized, I posted it up on my other blog and in Chocolyn... Hehe

Anyway, I decided to post it here. Please comment on my writing...^^

Now, that I thought about it, it's actually not my first story. But rather the very first story in english that I published here...

Just to warn you guys, it's definitely a sad story...

Moving On

Inspired fully by Zhang Li Yin’s song, Moving On a.k.a Sunny day, Rainy day

“I’m sorry…” with those words, he walked away from me leaving me alone. Why? Why did he do this to me? Unconsciously, my body already slumped onto the ground as my knees weakened. Tears flowed uncontrollably. Is this the feeling? Is this the feeling of a broken heart? If that’s so, then Lord, please kill me for I can’t stand this feeling anymore. It’s unbearable. My chest tightened. I don’t care if people said I’m crazy since to me, life is worthless. I’m already broken…

I came out from the bathroom after the long shower. I’m so tired today considering that we had to work overtime to meet the deadline. My left hand reached for the mug while my other hand took the spoon. I made my favorite coffee with mind full of thoughts. Well, mostly about work. The smell of the coffee filled my nose as I poured in hot water. After finished making the coffee, I went to sit on the couch in front of the big window. The night view here is very beautiful which was the reason why I bought this condominium. Sipping the coffee, memories flowed back into my mind.

Some people said that five years are quite long. But to me, it felt just like yesterday I went home crying and crying again until my brother came and asked me what happened. Our parents died in an accident when I was 2 years old so my brother brought me to country side and took care of me. I barely remembered them. I just grew up only with the irrevocable love given by my brother and the pictures of our parents. I fell asleep after hours of crying. As far as I remember, after that day, we moved to U.S and I finished my studies and graduated there. Finally, I came back to work here as my brother assigned me to take over the company’s branch here. As for him, he had to stay in U.S to manage the company. I think he felt that I’m already big enough to live by myself.

My lips curved to form small smile thinking about how protective he is when it comes to things involving me. My gaze suddenly diverted to the painting situated on the wall beside the window. It was the first thing that caught my eyes after I went back to our old house. I don’t know why, I just couldn’t throw it even though it reminded me so much about him – the one that broke my heart. As if on cue, rain suddenly started to fall. Through the window, I could clearly see the rain. I just couldn’t deny the little shattering pain that slowly burning in my heart. Yes, it’s hurt but I’m already too used to it. That’s why I said five years wasn’t long – it’s just not long enough for me to forget him…

I was on my way to meet a client at a café when I spotted a very familiar figure stood in front of my car. When I saw her, my feet immediately froze. Sensing my presence, she turned around and smiled at me. With all my might, I smiled back while trying to hide my mixed feelings. I can’t let my guard down in front of her. I just can’t. It was then I realized that she was no longer wearing the diamond ring that he gave her 5 years ago. Instead, she wore a very simple ring which suddenly reminds me of something happened 5 years ago.
Flashback…
“I think she will like this one,” I pointed a simple yet elegant ring to grab my brother’s attention. He turned his gaze to the ring pointed by me and smiled.
“I’ll take this one!” He said excitedly.

“Can we talk for a while?” her voice suddenly brings me back to the reality. I looked at her for awhile before nodding my head. I called my one of the manager to replace me meeting the client. We then proceed to the restaurant near my office. It’s a high class restaurant and there’s only two couples eating there that time. It’s surely a perfect place for us to have a serious talk. I ordered cappuccino and she ordered latte, my brother’s favorite drink. After the young waitress gone, she took out a black box and a letter.
“I’m sorry for everything happened 5 years ago,” she narrated. I sensed a trace of regrets formed in her eyes.
“I think you should read this first before I explain everything to you…” She handed the letter and the box to me. My hands slightly trembled as I opened the letter.

My dear princess,
I hope you’re doing very well now. I know you will because you’re a very strong girl. If you’re reading this, it means I didn’t make it. But, don’t cry because you’ll hurt me. I’m watching you from up here… I’m sorry for breaking your heart because I don’t want you to see me dying. Don’t get angry at my ‘girlfriend’, she just trying to help me and she’s in love with your brother!

I loved you and will always love you…
With love,
Your Prince

I noticed tears flowed down wetting the letter. My heart shattered again into pieces. You jerk! Why did I ever fall in love with you?!!! How could you abandon me just because you’re dying!

“He got a brain tumor. The moment he was being told by the doctor that his chance of surviving was less than 10%, he asked me to become his fake ‘girlfriend’. I finally agreed when he begged me. He loved you so much that he didn’t want you to see him die because he knew you also loved him as much as he did. He thought if he broke up with you, you’ll move on and find another guy. Your brother went to find him the day he broke up with you. I saw your brother punched him but he didn’t hit back nor ran away. Luckily I was there and I was the one who explained it to him. He begged your brother to bring you away as you might hear people talking about his death. After he died, I went to U.S to find your brother and give these to you. But, when he told me about your condition, I know, it’s not the right time to give these to you. After you came back here, we discussed about it and he finally agreed that we can’t keep this secret from you anymore. I’m sorry…” She looked in my eyes and I could see tears threatened to fall from her eyes.

“This is the ring that he wanted to give you as your birthday present…” she continued. I opened the box. It’s a diamond ring with the word ‘princess’ carved on it. “Tell me where his grave…is” I tried to speak calmly almost whispering even if I already couldn’t hold the tears.

I put the yellow acacia on his grave. The diamond ring shone brightly on my right hand. I smiled.
“How are you? See… I’m smiling now. Remember you used to give the yellow acacia before we started to date. Let me tell you a secret… Actually, I already know the meaning of yellow acacia. But, I just wanted to torture you a little bit by acting dumb…” I chuckled when I remembered the days before he confessed to me. My vision suddenly blurred as tears formed in my eyes.
“I wish I would never do that and we would probably spend more time together…” I whispered.

My brother had moved here since he’ll get married by the end of this month. He already moved the company centre here as he planned to settle down here. I quitted my job the day after he came back. I knew, he was worried about me but I assured him I would be just fine because I’m no longer the little girl who always clung onto him before. I joined the volunteer team to help children around the world.

As for my memories with him, I decided to keep it deep in my heart. Some of my friends said that I still couldn’t let him go. I didn’t deny it. He’s my first love and probably my last love because even if I want to let go and walk forward alone, I know, I’ll never be alone for his memories still live inside my heart forever…

The sound of the rain outside the window echoes throughout the empty room
In my dreams I pray tomorrow will be a sunny day
The last kiss goodbye; how can I not yearn for you
I'll regard it as a keepsake, a memento of your farewell

Memories keep me company throughout the long lonely nights
Sunlight quietly streams into my room
Why do I feel this little shattering pain
Slowly burning into my heart; I miss your face

Standing at the boundary between a sunny and rainy day
Should I smile or should I cry
Just let myself fall apart

Standing at the boundary between a sunny and rainy day
I want to let go and walk forward alone
But I discover I haven't gone far at all

My thoughts spread, my steps refuse to go forward
Retreating to once again welcome that dilemma
Why can't I reach the side of the sunny day
My expression is already exhausted, but I still don't regret

Standing at the boundary between a sunny and rainy day
Should I smile or should I cry
Just let myself fall apart

Standing at the boundary between a sunny and rainy day
I want to let go and walk forward alone
But I discover I haven't gone far at all

Standing at the boundary between a sunny and rainy day
Should I smile or should I cry
Just let myself fall apart

Standing at the boundary between a sunny and rainy day
I want to let go and walk forward alone
But I realize I can't stop these tears

Date finished: 15 March 2010, 06.25p.m

p/s : To those who don't know about this, yellow acacia means secret love

Standing at the boundary between a sunny and rainy day means like the person doesn't know what to do and where to go... That's why this song also named as 'Moving On' as the person actually couldn't let go the past and open up to the future. Basically, it's what you feel when you broke up.

Thanks for reading...^^

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Me as Sya'ak

I’m actually writing this on Microsoft word first before posting it on this blog. Maybe I think I’ll need a longer time to edit this post… urmm… don’t know.

Not that I never realized this, but this blog is like my own diary… But, it’s more about what happened in my life compared to my real diary. Yes, I did have a personal diary and it’s in this computer… hihi… Probably I’ve accustomed myself to type rather than writing it with my own hands. Remember, I’m a writer… You don’t expect me to write them all on papers right. I still loved trees though sometimes I do realize about my certain habit of wasting foolscap papers… After all, it’s just a foolscap paper right? Indeed…*nodding2*

I tend to write about my feelings in my diary… I mean… describing my feelings very detailed without telling the events on that day and the reason why I felt like that... After all, someday, I’ll read it back right? And I don’t like the idea of me remembering back the sad or painful or embarrassing events that happened at that time… Just reminisce about the feelings I experienced that time. We should let bygone be bygone right? So, no need to fuss over the past… when I read my diary back, I realized, life is indeed not a bed of roses… of course… Come on guys, we’re standing on the earth now!

Well, maybe some of you are hoping for me to continue writing about my life in USIM… but sad to said, I don’t have that intention… yet. Because currently I’m quite pissed off with certain things that happened here. Just give me some time to calm my anger down… I think most of you already know about my temper… ^^

I’m actually having fun visiting Chocolyn nowadays though there’re certain things made me became…-_-“ Anyway, there’s more news about her nowadays and that made me really happy. *sigh*… I hope I could read mandarin characters… T___T

The secret to being Sya’ak Lee… Haha… Is it really important??? Anyway, looks like I’m just going to write random things today… What’s actually the secret??? Walking confidently under the rain??? Hak3… Actually there’s no secret… I am just me… huhu… Anyway, the random things I’m going to post now is the clash of personality between Sya’ak Lee and aiLee… to those who doesn’t seem to know aiLee, she’s actually like my other personality mostly when I’m writing stories or fanfic… No need to be scared… I’m not a psycho… Geez~ I did write on the ‘about me’ section, ‘The real me is the one that lies within me’…. Just figure it yourself and that’s the time you’ll finally realize the real me… ^^

Clash of Personality (Sya’ak Lee vs aiLee)

Sya’ak Lee

  • Get mad easily when things didn’t turn out like what she wanted
  • Love her family and friends too much
  • Doesn’t drool on hot/cute/handsome/good looking guy like any other girls…LoL…^^
  • Prefer to sleep a lot when problems come up rather than facing the problems =) (Kata Cg Hamid; “Tidurlah… bila kamu bangun, semuanya akan hilang…”)
  • Good at giving excuses, but always messed up with the stories…hehe
  • Love cooking...^^
  • Has the tendency to be biased when it comes to the person she loved.
  • Like to read psychological/philosophy books
  • Can change 360 degree minus celcius when facing people she hated. (Didn’t really show in front of someone when she hate that someone)
  • Procrastinate a lot…
  • Dominating
  • Like her eyes because it scares people…huhu
  • Love Keroppi/Keroro because all it did was only smiling and looking at her with its big eyes even when she cried or mad or simply happy…
  • Love means hurting and it’s tiring
  • Talk a lot

aiLee

  • Doesn’t get mad easily because she’ll just laugh at others stupidity and sometimes her own…^^
  • aiLee is an escapade from Sya’ak’s ‘crazy’ life…huhu
  • Creative at creating stories (work very well with Sya’ak when didn’t/couldn’t/ mostly just lazy to finish the homework…LoL…)
  • Prefer cute guy…^^
  • Rarely being biased (Prefer to view things from both sides)
  • Cooking?? hurm… prefer to eat…^^
  • Always daydreaming to find a good storyline… (blamed by Sya’ak when got bad results in exams…hihi)
  • Love to fool around
  • Like to mock Sya’ak…
  • Like her eyes because they’re simply big…^^
  • Doesn’t really like Keroppi (or Keroro like what Sya’ak called that thing) because it’s simply annoying.
  • Love = Happily ever after… (How sweet…^^)
  • Prefer to read rather than talk

p/s: This is just a random one... pls don't keep it in ur mind... hak3

Anyway, that's me as a certain Nursyakirah Binti Razalli...


Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Life in USIM part 2

I have a thought to write this post long ago but since I don't have that much time.... (busy doing laundry...etc... keke)

I actually got to give my very official statement regarding the students of Science Technology Group B.... They're mostly cute and adorable... Hak3

Starting from the captain (who got this certain habit of eating lollipop during lectures) and to the students who sometimes whining to the lecturers...(except for me of course...)

It made me think, are they just graduated from the kindergarten??? -_-"

Actually, studying here most of the times made me dead tired... Huhu (Is it true???)

Anyway, just to inform you guys,
New definition for beauty is certainly Nursyakirah Binti Razalli (Haha... My housemates just went -_-".... because I kept saying that... mostly to tease them...)

Last night I was having fun through video chatting with My family, and Ned. I should do that often... (Certainly!!!)

Currently, I'm waiting for ustaz Sanusi to come for Arabic... (Gosh! Another Arabic class... >_<... T___T

Still, I'm going to try my best to open my eyes throughout the whole class... (Though I don't really understand what he's saying.... hehe)

It's 8.19a.m now and I have to stop writing...

Just to inform you guys, I'm going to challenge myself writing 50 stories within a month... I think it'll be mostly one-shot... Hak3...

Okay, that's all...

Daa~

Monday, June 28, 2010

Ctie, aku masih disini

Menulis aku disini hari ini untuk memaklumkan kepada mereka yang belum tahu bahawa abang kepada kawan kita Siti Aminah Binti Ibrahim telah pulang ke Rahmatullah semalam...

Aku agak kagum dengan ctie. Mengenali dia, aku tahu dia seorang yang kuat. But she's quite weak when it comes to family. Aku kagum dengan kekuatan dia menerima berita semalam. Anyway, aku tahu dia akan kembali ke nilai untuk teruskan perjuangan dia ke Pandan Indah....

Dan satu kata2 aku untuk dia,

ctie, aku masih disini dan akan sentiasa berada disampingmu walaupun jauh dimata...

Remember, I'm always here though sometimes you failed to see me...

Be strong!

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Currently in D-3-3-1

Hua3....

Actually, last night I slept at Ctie's home... opps... room to be exact... I slept at 3.00 a.m last night since I got to access streamyx zone here... (thanx to along!!! hua3)

Anyway, I think I got a new habit of downloading from the certain girl named Hajar... haha... But I only downloaded thing involving Zhang Li Yin just because... urm... maybe coz I miss her too much...

Living in USIM taught me so much things involving life. Well, as you grew older, you'll experience more things and from that, you'll grow. Haha... Actually, my housemates said that I'm already 30 years old... -_-" (Well, juz because the way I think is quite... ur... figure it urself...)

Now, I'm still at Ctie's house.... Geez~

Hehe....

I'm going to boost my posts at chocolyn (maybe) before I go back to my house... haha!

Daa~

Friday, June 25, 2010

First time in Pavillion

haha! Seronok giler maen netball td...
(Bak kate Hajar, S-E-R-O-N-O-K....)

Pagi tadi turun la aku di Pavillion USIM buat pertama kalinya... Ni la sukan first kitorg kat USIM. Tadi gabung kumpulan tutorial, Group 8 & 9... Best2... Ader r aktiviti skit... Then, maen netball. Ader yang maen bola tampar... Tp, yer la... Klu ak maen bola tampar, tampar je 2 kali confirm terus lebam tangan...

Aku jd GK td... Syok giler r maen... (w'pun ak lg ske bola baling...) Kaki aku sakit skit td sbb lps maen terus masuk bilik kuliah... Sejuk2.... Sengal giler... Ye la... Aku kan iron woman... Mne bley duk lam air cond lme2... Beku kang... T___T

Currently, I'm in my room. Ntah camne, tbe2 dpt access streamyx zone kt cnie (Biasenye ak kne turun ke cafe)... Hua3... Best2... I'm listening to Zhang Li Yin's Yeoinniyeoh a.k.a Lover... Don't know why, but I felt like listening to sad song now... Geez~

Yesterday, for the first time, I kept my eyes open for the whole time in Quranic hadith lecture... Hua3... although, I don't really understand what ustaz's said... anyway, that's the first record... Usually, from the bismillah...... till wallahua'lam... I slept just peacefully... Hehe...

Sya'ak, Him Nae!!!!

Hua3!!!

Lupe nak mention, actually, ak jpe sorang bdk lelaki science tech B pakai tongkat... Hua3!!! Terkenang zman dolu2... Nostalgia giler!!!! Kadang2, cian gak tgk... yer r... ak kn 'org lame'.... kire cam senior r dlm bab pakai tongkat ni... Haha...

Enough for that crap... Huhu... Actually, there's too much clothes to wash... Aaaaaaa!!!! Malas!!! Malas!!!! Malas!!!!


Ok la...

Sekian sahaje untuk bebelan saye kali ini...

Daa~

Thursday, June 24, 2010

7.58 a.m... in BTS 2.10

I don't know how to start this post... hmm... but, I'm updating because of a certain someone who suddenly called me last night...

Actually, I couldn't view the shoutbox because USIM's web filter already filtered that thing... As a result, i can't view it much. Maybe I'll change that shoutbox later...

It's been more than a month I'm here, far away from home and surprisingly I'm taking quite a good care of myself when it comes to medicine. Remember, I hate eating medicine since it required me to remember the times... *sigh* Anyway, i managed to eat those medicine at the right times...

Last night, I started to study chemistry and math back. Well, i think I should give it a try again since I'm going to stay in USIM... Huhu...

Tonight, I'm thinking about going to Ctie's house... Hehe...

Anyway, it's 8.07a.m now... I have a tutorial at 8.30 a.m... and guess what, it's ARABIC!!!

muahaha!
I'm going to prepare myself mentally and physically.... T___T

Daa~

p/s:
to dib; bile awk msuk 6ti, ktorg gi r mlawat... tu pun klu ad mse r...
to ned; byk r mu... igt ak wt lwak ker... ces... T___T
to along; Pegoppa....
to ctie; Mane buku Quranic aku???!!!!!!!!!!!
to Mir; Miss u....

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Is it the best 4 me?

Thinking all day and night whether my decision is the best or was I blinded by others??? I don't know for now but I'm quite sure I'll see it in the future whether this is the best for me.... I think I'm getting confused with myself lately. Maybe the fatigue overshadowed my mind that I felt really sad and tired....

and like always, feeling like all the sad songs in this world is written for me... hehe... (completely a typical Sya'ak Lee) Hehe...

Anyway, I spent a not so colourful weekend or maybe I should just say a very tired weekend. Whatsoever... I took a pic of my food in the locker... hehe... but I couldn't recall where I put that pic...

Okay, that's all....

Daa~

Friday, June 11, 2010

Tensen2...

Akibat menjadi penunggu di bus stand dpn FSU, ak jd tensen.... Bas tu lalu, tp, lgsg x berenti... buat bodo jer.... T_______________T

Lalu aku pn call ctie yg tgh rajinnya mendaki bangunan FST atau lbey dikenali dgn name bgunn tamhidi.... Ktorg jnji nk jumpe kat cafe fsu... aku pn pergi r... daa settle down cantek je kat cafe tu......

Tibe2, ctie pn msg,

Uit,kte mkn kt fqs r.murah sket...


Lalu aku pn galas beg dan turun ke fqs... *sigh*

Tibe2 die pn kol blik........

ctie : syak, kt fqs tadop lauk r....

Aaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!! kne daki blik tgge2 yg mengerikan tu utk kembali ke cafe fsu....
Cesz....

Itulaa, dlu mse gi ke SMK Pengkalan Berangan, ske2 je hoping dpt blajar kat skol yg ade bukit2... pemandangan cantek la konon....

padan muke.....

Apepun td kitorg mkn...

ak mkn ikan keli... huhu... sedap3


ni la ctie, jas n mirah...

Ak ad kt tepi komp ni... hehe...

k r... nk gi solat....

Bas x taw smpai kul brape..... (Tensen tul... Nk kol kidin tny bas smpai cnie kul wpe... hehe)

Daa~

p/s : Doakan kitorg slamat smpai kt camellia court.... huhu

Thursday, June 10, 2010

LiFe iN USIM x_____x

Ahlan wasahlan fi USIM... muahaha... udah gile aku ngan bahasa arab kt cnie... T_T

Td tutorial Bahasa Arab n like typical Sya'ak Lee, aku pun tertidur... Ye la... Udah le ustaz cakap full arab... aku pun... ape lagi... ana wa ana wa anta wa ana..... zzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZ

hehe... Can't help it...lol

Duk cnie 3 mggu, rsenye kalah buku Harry Potter klu aku tulis ketensionan aku... But like always, when I felt life is getting harder, the next moment He made me feel lighter and happier. Making me feel like I'm blessed to stand and to be here... (though it's obvious I'm sitting on the chair...hehe)

Ctie ad dcnie (noted at 11.09 a.m)

Jap lg ak ad kuliah kul 11.30... T___T

Ctie free smpai 2.30... x___x

Tp, x pe... esk ak ad 1 je kuliah... tu pun 1 jam.... huhuhu....

Actually, ak x bwk purse hri ni... so, mkn gne duet ctie r dlu... hehehe... (time kacih ctie...)

Ak duk tingkat 3 kat hostel. Ad 8 org dlm rumah. Ktorg 4 org sebilik... T___T W'pun rmai, tp since diorg sume kool je, ok r... Roommate ak sorg budak selangor, 1 pahang, 1 kelate... Kecoh gile umh ktorg... hua3...

One day nnti, ak akn ambik gmbar diorg n upload cnie... Tp, next time r... hehe

For the meantime... ini gmbr ak n ctie kat cafe FSU...





Ak dh lmbt.... Aaaaaa!!!

Daa~

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Video baru...

Finally...

Another video siap dalam tempoh 3 jam... Letih gak buat benda ni tapi berbaloi la jugak coz aku rasa puas hati. Tapi, yang sedihnya, tak banyak gambar yang ada... :(
So, tak la banyak sangat gambar baru...
Aku harap sgt2 kwn2 yang ada gmbar2 bley e-mail gmbar2 tu kat aku... bkn ssh pn... attach jer ngan file ngan e-mail tu...

Lagu dalam video kali ni aku guna korean song. It's a beautiful song that I couldn't help but falling in love the first time I listened to it... huhu~

Tajuk lagu ni adalah One Love, sing by Andy feat Dongwan (Shinhwa) atau dalam korea 'Sarang hana'...

I'm not putting the translation for the song in the video because it's tiring to synch the translation and the song itself. But, if there's more than 5 requests to sub the video, I'll be willing to do it...^^

Ok, enjoy je la...

Aku nk buat banyak lagi video sebenarnya, tapi, since x ada gambar... tengok la dulu kalau aku rajin pergi meng'copy' gambar dlm FB... hehe~

Pls leave ur comment!

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Update (5/5/2010)

Entah nak tulis dlm BM or BI...

I'm sooooo tired~
but just couldn't sleep..... It's ok, 2morrow we'll have to send Muze at 12.30p.m...

I'm actually breathless because I don't know what to do now?
Speechless because I don't have anyone to talk to...
and of course, Powerless... lol... it's not like I'm a prime minister or something like that...

Apa nak buat? Apa nak buat? Apa nak buat?
Entah~

One thing for sure, I'm in a very sad mood... It feels like everything that I see, listen, feel are all somehow made me sad...

Well, maybe not... I'm just confused... Definitely!
I did that a lot when I'm thinking about something or someone... *sigh*

Hari ni, secara tak sengaja + sengajanya aku pergi berjalan-jalan dengan Dib... Aku teman dia beli kasut then, pergi KFC... jalan2 lebih kurang kat Giant... then pergi Mydin mall plak... The real purpose sebenarnya adalah nak hantar buku ke perpustakaan negeri... hehe... jauh je melencong, kan3? Sebab tu la aku kata dengan sengajanya + x sengaja...

Kadang2, rasa tak sabar pulak nak pergi tempat baru, tapi, bila difikir-fikirkan balik, aku nak duduk rumah jer... T,T

Esok malas la aku nak pergi pasar coz dalam peti sejuk dah ada ikan... Esok makan asam pedas jer la...^^

Entahla... kadang2 terasa mcm otak tak berapa nak betul jer... Kekadang rse cam tak ade org bce blog ni... kekdg rse gatal nak post n3...hurm... Tapi, mungkin sbb aku lebih suka setia pada yang satu... jadi aku update jer la... huhu~

At least, one day I could read them back, while laughing at my stupidity...^^

Bila aku kira2 balik, aku ada lebih kurang 5 akaun e-mail, 4+1 blog, 2 account youtube... @.@

Kenapa???? Rahsia... pndai2 la nak idup... (ad kaitan ker??? huhu)

Don't think I'm crazy coz I'm not...^^

Sunday, May 2, 2010

USIM, here I come...

huhu~
That's sounds a little bit creepy...

I actually don't really have the mood to write as I just finished a ffic request. A sleep would be good. But still wanna update this blog first because I know, once I go to USIM, then I'll be on hiatus for about 2 or 3 months... haha!


Yeah... I got USIM!!!! The course is Science and Technology... Pretty happy coz ctie also got the same one. At least we're together! But... I still have to continue learning arabic... *sigh*

My fate is already intertwined with the language 'Arabic'...

Ah~ I'm really lazy right now. Just looking at the kitchen made cringe in fear. There's a lot of dirty dishes and I'll be the one who'll clean it... Geez~ Maybe tomorrow... at least that stalker queen is here to help... x_x

Taking care of 2 younger brothers and 2 younger sisters is really tiring + lots of cats here... Aiishh!!! ppffffttt....

Anyway, I scan some old pics from the albums.



They used to be this cute and innocent and loveable... but now... Geez~ It's pretty annoying...

I just realized that all of us shared the same type of eyes... huhu... well, maybe just in certain angles...

This pic was taken by Pak Cik Nyia when I was... hurm... forget already...

hihi~

p/s: Along, if you remember when we took that pic, please put it in the comment... haha... I'm just lazy to walk to your room and ask though it's just a few steps away from here... and stop watching that Barbie stuff will ya?? haha!

Friday, April 30, 2010

Masih di sini... (My story with K-pop)

Di mana???

depan komp la... Geez~

I spent 3 hours just now reading many comments... The feelings was pretty undefined since sometimes I just laugh and sometimes get pissed off and sometimes I just......-_-" Couldn't blame them though, we have our very own opinions... =)

Somehow, though I'm always on9 these 2 or 3 days but I don't feel like going anywhere but Chocolyn... There're times when I just logged in to Chocolyn without doing anything but rather staring at the shoutbox hoping that someone could at least post up something... huhu... I found myself pretty pathetic being like that... but only on Chocolyn dear... only Chocolyn...

1st May will be the 1st day for official Chocolyn summer party... Pretty excited bout that but since other fellow chocolates are still voting the date... so I'm just waiting for the confirmation. I'm still hoping that Melissa would set it on 1st May. At least I won't be deppressed long if the UPU result is not up to my expectation... hihi...

+ I'm also hoping that they'll agree to do the planned spammage on SM fanboard... haha... Pretty crazy huh? Glad if anyone thinks so because nowadays, chocolates are pretty pissed off because of some rumors+things involved our fanclub... like the official name thingy...etc

Truthfully, I'm truly involved in K-pop world since late 2007... X-man was the first korean entertainment program I ever watched. Never planned on being a fan of any bands/singers/groups and I never imagined that one day, I would join a fanclub! hua3... Anyway, I started to get to know to Suju, CSJH, DBSK, Wonder Girls...etc

Early 2008, I discovered her and instantly like her because of her strong mature image but still not really into this fans thingy. Because 2008 is the year where I'm too busy with works, TGC thingy, I rarely involved myself in K-pop, just sometimes, I would watch some shows... but mostly I'll watch K-drama/movies online + taiwanese dramas...

After I accidentally broke my leg, using the wheelchair, I can't do anything... and that's when I started to really watch all the shows... I watched many shows and little by little I started to recognize every single bands, artists, MC's, Comedian, actors, actresses...etc
Then, we have wireless connection at home so I always stayed up watching the shows/dramas/movies at night...

I'm actually having some depression problems in 2009... The reasons??? Well, actually I already forgotten about the reasons but I still could remember the pain. People says, When you couldn't even remember the reason why you're hurting, that's the time when you've already moved on... and yeah... I've moved on... I think about a month before SPM, after almost a year keeping the pain... Geez~ should've moved on earlier... hua3...

Anyway, I watched the shows to avoid depression (it worked at least for that mere seconds) because I actually already forgot how to really laugh... how to be happy without thinking any problems... In other words, I'm numb in front of people. Feeling timid, scared, but couldn't show those feelings to other... afraid I would be a weakling...

I found myself laughing so happily when I watched the shows. The feelings is just..... couldn't describe it... huhu... That's when I openly showed to my close friends that I liked Suju... Yeah... I adored them because of the love between ELF and Suju... (though some ELFs could get pretty annoying... well, not all...) but don't have much thought of being a fan... Told ya, I'm immune to pretty/handsome/cute boys...

During june or july, I decrease the time watching the shows... well, mostly because most of the subbing teams hadn't finish subbed the newest vids... and they still couldn't find the raw videos ...

But I still listened to songs... Her songs...

2010, I joined Chocolyn... I didn't really into the new groups... because I think I've already found the one... + their musics/songs never get my attention. I still watched their shows but it just up to the word 'like', not 'love'... I only prepare one spot for my favorite one and she already filled that spot... (Why did it sound so cheesy??? x_x)

and that's my story with K-pop... @.@ 5.30a.m!!!!

dan aku MASIH DI SINI??!!!

hehe...