I couldn't find a better title to define this post other than 2017. This post is going to be a really long post so if you're not interested in my life, I would suggest you watching videos on Youtube. Like the video when cats got drowned in catnip. hahaha.
2017 and I'm 25 years old. Time flies real fast. I used to want to grow up quickly because I wanted to do things on my own. I wanted to be what I want to be... But adults' world is not all that fun. When I realized that, I've already grown and just like that, I have to suck it up and live.
I started working this year. To be exact, I started working on 2nd May 2017 in Kuala Lumpur. Actually, I resented the idea of working in KL. I resented it so much that for months, I had no desire to acknowledge that KL now is my home. In my mind, anywhere else is fine but not KL. I guess God has His own reasons sending me there. Now, after almost 8 months, I started to acknowledge KL as my home.
Few months before that, I wanted to leave. I wanted to go far away because it's suffocating. Many didn't know this, but at times, I felt suffocated... I felt like a caged bird. I felt like I didn't have any freedom to do what I want. Sometimes, I question myself, why did I felt so when my mother actually love me so much. She loves me more than anything but why on earth do I feel so. I thought about this for a very long time. Honestly, I still don't have the exact answer.
Perhaps, it's love. Perhaps it's me. I'm not sure. There's one thing I'm sure though, I love my mother so much that in the end, all of those, did not matter much. Perhaps, one day, when I have a child of my own, I would understand that. At times, I do wonder, how can a woman give everything up for her child. But then, even if I know it, I could never truly understand it because I've never experienced it yet.
Now that I started writing this, I realized that I rarely mentioned 'The Siblings' in this blog. In the first place, I didn't really write entries in this blog. So that's probably why they weren't mentioned much. They're one of my closest friends in IPG until now. Technically, there are 7 of us. Afif, Nazmi, Sabrina, Ife, Aini, Linda and me. After IPG, we get posted in different states. Afif, Sabrina and me in KL. Nazmi in Johor. Aini and Linda in Kuantan and Ife in Malacca.
Naturally, Afif, Sabrina and me stick together. Honestly, I didn't know about the future but I think the 7 of us wouldn't probably last as 7. We might start as 7, but to remain 7, it would take understanding, tolerance and commitment from each one of us. I know, they would probably feel sad if they read this. They would probably even hate me. Anyway, let the future decides for us. Whatever happen though, they each had a special place in my heart. Places that would probably last a lifetime.
As of now, I'm good. Everything's good.