May Allah Ease This

Too many things to do. 

Too little time. 

My steps feel heavy but I have no choice. 

I have to keep on walking. 

Since young, I've shouldered so many responsibilities. 

Trying to push myself past the limits every single time. 

I'd mock myself, 'Is this all you could do? Look at those people, they can do it so why can't you? You're weak.' 

I guess that's how I surpassed my limits every time. 

Years ago, when I was deep in depression, I wanted to die. 

So I prayed every day for Him to take my life. 

But even after granting all my other prayers. God didn't grant that one. 

Somehow I knew the reasons.  There's a long way ahead.

There are 'debts' that I need to pay. And right now, my only wish is for the strength to go through this path. No. I shouldn't ask for strength. I should ask Allah to ease everything for me. 

You're strong. I really really hate this word. I'm tired of being strong. 

May Allah ease everything. Amin... 

This post is not exactly written on this date but with excerpts and notes written on the particular date of this event.