a so-called me (30/1/2012)

current mood : so-so
listening to : A Thousand Years (Christina Perri)
thinking about : LDV powerpoint. Muahahahaha! (Aaaa! tak siap2 lagi!)

I spent my Chinese New Year holidays in Malacca this time along with my cousins, uncles, aunties and another two brother who happened to share the same parents with me. >_<

Many things got me thinking again. Sometimes, I wished I could find someone to answer this unending questions. Coz the one person who always answered my questions just happened to already transferred to the next 'world'. and I don't know when am I going to meet him again.

though I really wanted to... now.

First time arriving in Malacca, it doesn't feel awkward at all. No feelings surfaced. only the

unending feelings of responsibilities towards this family. Towards his siblings. Towards 'em all.



I couldn't really describe it in words when I heard Mundzir giving some 'tazkirah' after maghrib to

them. That kid has really grow up. and I'm proud of him. I always have...




Sometimes it's really hard being the one who saw it all but not being able to say anything.

I know that feeling. and I know we all felt the same.

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I'm actually kinda busy these days. or rather that it's the me trying to busy myself. I don't want to be alone coz I know I can't be alone.That day, on that very day, will always surface in my memories. Playing like a broken tape.

Though I know that it's hard,but never thought that it'll be this hard...

So even if I want to be alone for awhile, I still want someone to accompany me in silence.
and I kinda know that'll be very hard.
Coz there are only a few of them who can comfort me without saying anything. and none of them is here. 

I chose this path. This is my fate. Therefore I believe that I can withstand it all.

Coz I always believe that God won't hurt you.

Even if it's the thing that hurts you the most...