I Will

I just suddenly thought of updating today... yeah...

No idea for the drama script T___T

How can I finish it??? lalala~

Anyway, let's talk bout other things then. Actually,,, nothing much... hehe *sheepish grin*

Okay2... I wanna share with you guys another one of my fav song,,,
(though I know NaDWaN might not prefer this song...huhu)

It's a korean song called 'I Will'... Just 1 week I sang this everyday, and this song already stuck in their minds... *evil laugh*

I like this song for its strong and stable notes. and as always, this song is a sad ballad... TT___TT

and this song is my ringtone...(which is why all my roommates got this song stuck in their head... hak3)

but,,, once, a friend of mine said she heard this song being used as a ringtone by her housemate not long ago. and it made me curious like hell...

Who is she? coz this song was released in 2008 and it is not even being promoted in Korea back then. unless,,, if she used the S.E.S's version. But not many knew about S.E.S's existence and most importantly, not much people know that Zhang Li Yin is or should I say,,, (was???) a k-pop singer. Maybe, she just found that this song is good and listen to it...

k,,, enough with that ???? marks in my head...

so, I put this download link for you guys since it's quite hard to find korean version on youtube... hahaha

>>>> Jang Ri In - i will [Korean].mp3 

No need to watch the full video,,, just please skip to 4:10... (I really really agreed with the host!!!) hahaha

as for the lyrics,,, well after going through much trouble, so, here it is...

I Will
(korean) -In case any of you can read korean- hihihi
오늘 하루도 몇시간 남지 않았죠
난 그대 생각으로 온 하룰 써버렸죠
나의 바램은 이루지 못한 꿈처럼
새벽을 그리다가 지쳐 잠이들겠죠
난 정말 궁금햇어요
하루에도 몇번씩 내가 보고싶어하는 맘을 알고있나요
그대안에서 나는 숨을쉴수조차 없어요
당신의 넓은 가슴안에 잠든 꿈이 깰까봐
작은소리로 말할꺼예요
그대 사.랑.해
Baby you will last forever my love

키작은 연필로 가득히 써내려갔죠
모자라는 마음들이 채워질수 있도록
그래요 하지만 그게 잘 안되나봐요
아직 나의 사랑도 키가 작은건가요
온종일 기다렸어요 혹시라도 한번쯤
잘못누른 번호만이라도 걸려와주길
그대안에서 나는 숨을쉴수조차 없어요
당신의 넓은 가슴안에 잠든 꿈이 깰까봐
작은소리로 말할꺼에요
그대 사.랑.해
Baby you will last forever

만약에 그대가 내곁에 없다면
나는 울다 지쳐 쓰러지고 말겠죠
그대가 준 사랑이 내겐 얼마나 소중한지
이젠 알것같아요 영원하게 할께요
그대안에서 나는 숨을쉴수조차 없어요
당신의 넓은 가슴안에 잠든 꿈이 깰까봐
작은소리로 말할꺼예요
그대 사.랑.해
Baby you will last forever
My Love

(Romanized)
Onul harudo myotshigan namji anajyo
Nangude sengakuro onharul soboryojyo
Naye baremun iruji mothan kumchorom
Sebyokul kuridaga jijyojamidulkejyo
Nan chongmal kumkumesoyo
Haruedo myotbonshik
Nega bogoshipo hanun mamul algo itnayo

Gude aneso nanun sumul shwilsujocha opsoyo
Dangshine nolbun gasumane chamdun kumikilkabwa
Jalgun soriro marhal koyeyo gudel saranghe
Baby you will last forever, my love

Kijakun yonpilo gadukhi soneryogajyo
Mojaranun maumduri jewojilsu itdorok
Kureyo hajiman kugejal andwenabwayo
Ajik naye sarangdo kiga jakun gongayo
Onjongil kidaryosoyo hokshirado hanbonjum
Jalmonurun bonhomanirado koryowajugil

Gude aneso nanun sumul shwilsujocha opsoyo
Dangshine nolbun gasumane chamdun kumikilkabwa
Jalgun soriro marhal koyeyo gudel saranghe
Baby you will last forever, my love

Manyage gudega negyote opdamyon
Nanun ulda jichyo surojigo malgechyo
Gudegajun sarangi nege olmana sojunghanji
Ijen algotgatayo yongwon hage halkeyo

Gude aneso nanun sumul shwilsujocha opsoyo
Dangshine nolbun gasumane chamdun kumikilkabwa
Jalgun soriro marhal koyeyo gudel saranghe
Baby you will last forever, my love

(Translation)
Even today, there isn't much hours left,
I spent this whole day with just thoughts of you,
My wishes are like those dreams which will never be accomplished,
While waiting for the dawn, I'll probably fall asleep,
I was really curious, do you know how much I miss you everyday?

I can't even breathe while I am in you,
With the thought of my dreams in your chest being waken, (?)
With a small voice, I'm going to tell you,
I love you,
Baby you will last forever, my love

With a short pencil, I filled a page,
Hoping that it would fill my empty heart,
Yes, however, it doesn't seem to work,
Does that mean, that my love is also short?
I waited all day, just in case for you to call the wrong number

I can't even breathe while I am in you,
With the thought of my dreams in your chest being waken, (?)
With a small voice, I'm going to tell you,
I love you,
Baby you will last forever

If you aren't by my side,
I'll probably fall with the exhaustion of crying,
How special the love you have given me is,
Now, I think I know, I'll make it last forever

I can't even breathe while I am in you,
With the thought of my dreams in your chest being waken, (?)
With a small voice, I'm going to tell you,
I love you,
Baby you will last forever, my love

-Actually I already memorized all the meaning as well as the lyrics,,, that's why I often listen to Korean or Chinese song. It's just because I know the meaning behind them...

I am indeed very choosy when it comes to songs. can't blame me though~ *pout*
I'm a writer afterall,,, how do you expect me to write when you can't grab the emotions of life...

end of that *fullstop*

Enjoy ur day!

lol~

just soooo random!

What makes a human?

I told a friend once, to be a human you should never hide when something goes wrong... Face everything straight away and never afraid making mistakes... never be afraid to say your opinion. There's no right or wrong in opinion, only the evidences that made the difference.

but suddenly today, I realized... that they're still far away from that....

way too far...

am I being too harsh? or is it them that still couldn't understand the reality?

That the world today is far more harsh than that...

Am I wrong? Trying to teach them the way it is?

Or should I just let them? and watch from far away?

and smile when they experienced the pain?

No, I could never do that.

What's wrong? I don't even give a damn if they hate me.

but today, I felt something pricked my heart.

Tell me... How are you going to face the future if you're going to be like this?

19 years living in this world and you still couldn't figure out this heartless world.

and yet grumbling when I'm being firm...

whatever...

Living this life is tiring~

BBQ KTS 3

lol... after wandering around facebook, I found pics taken when we had our first BBQ last Thursday which happened to be Thaipusam day...
That day started at 7.45 a.m when Nadiani came and wake me up (which I strongly refused to)... hehe... then she said, "Sya'ak, dah pukul 9..." and with that, I instantly got up and dressed within 5 minutes and the next 3 minutes, we're already down waiting for Mariah, and at approximately 9a.m, we're on the way to Nilai 3... to buy 7 err... no... 8 chickens (since I'm also cooking for my housemates)
so, 9 a.m, I started to clean the chickens and prepare to cook...
so and so... we started with soup and then with the chicken rice... At first, it's just me and Nadiani... then, I called Mariah to help... lol... and so, the three of us 'live and die' together... literally...hahaha


5p.m, we started barbecuing, starting with the sausages... and started to serve all the chicken rice...
Teacher Bio, Madam Shams and Teacher Math, Miss Faeza also joined us.
We also had ice -cream... haha

Afifi and Borhan

Waiting for the chicken

KTS 3 Group 8

KTS 3 Group 7

so, that's all... huhuhu....
I hope that we'll all do well in mid-sem this 27 and 28 January 2011...

My RoOmMates ^^

 I realized I never write about my roommates inside this blog... lol...

Ned, you'll have to bear with this coz you don't have any... hehe :p

I have 3 roommates because the room occupied by us now is the master bedroom. It's not that large though... Imagine, 4 person, 2 lockers, 1 table, 2 double-decker bed.... Nevertheless, we are happy... Hahaha!

I'll introduce Hajar (the one with black tudung) first then since her pic is on top... She's from Pahang, a second daughter just like me. We got the most common interests and she, though I don't wanna write it here (since she might continue to brag bout this) okay2, fine,,, she's quite kind... A nice girl indeed but she's a little bit manly in her actions but definitely not her feelings... Hak3

 The 2nd one would be umi ( the one at the back with glasses)... Actually the chubbier one is Ctie's roommates named Shabirah. But I called her Shaby-kun... lol... Okay, back to umi, she's also the second daughter but the only difference is she doesn't have any other siblings aside from her older brother. She's from Klang, Selangor.

Hajar, Umi and Shaby-kun are the accounting students which is the reason why many accounting students know me... lol

The last one would be Nadiani, a cute girl indeed... Hahahaha... she's in the same course with me, Science and Technology... We live and die together... hak3... Well, not really. We're in the same lecture group but in different tutorial group since she's in group 7 and I'm in the group 8...

She's a Kelantanese... This pic was taken when we're waiting for the bus together. Hahaha...

Okay, so... what else? Anything else?? Hmmm...

I think that's all for this n3, I'm actually waiting for pizza from umi... One more thing, actually, though our room is quite crowded, but it gets really lonely when they're not here.... Like now,,, huhuhu.....

Okay, that's all... Daa~

Letting Go (One-shot story) (Fanfic)

A/N : I put this on my Facebook before... Just in case, if anyone haven't read this yet... lol 

This is one of my one-shot fanfics that I'd like to share... :)

  

Flashback

“How can you be so short?” he ruffled her hair as the girl in front of him pouted.

“I’m not!” she puffed her cheeks in annoyance. Suddenly a woman entered the room making them both jumping in excitement towards her.

“Mom!!!” Both of them hugged her as she smiled greeting the twins.

“Did you take a good care of your sister?” she asked the boy as the boy nodded while grinning. The woman kissed them both on the cheeks.

End of flashback

“When will you sign the contract?” The young man just stared at the window ignoring his friend. A moment later, he looked back at his friend.

“Cancel it,” he stood before grabbing his coat and walked away from the room leaving the other soul in the room yet again.

Flashback

“It’s mine!”

“No! It’s mine!” He grabbed the coloring book from the little girl and ran away. Not wanting to lose, the younger girl ran after him but he was too fast. Her eyes are getting teary. Feeling angry, tears rolled down her cheeks as her cries getting louder and louder. Hearing her crying, he suddenly stopped running. He turned around and went back to her. Kneeling down, he gave her back the book.

“Here…”

“Nappeun saram (bad person)!!!” she cried louder and threw the book.

“I hate you! I hate oppa!!!”

End of flashback

                Driving to the beach, he remembered when they used to come here with their parents. Him and Jaejin. Every time they came here, Jaejin would become so excited and she wouldn’t stop jumping in excitement.

He pulled up his car and turned off the engine. Again, he’s here. This feeling. So close yet so far away. He sighed. It just couldn’t be described with words.

Flashback

“Oppa! Look! A starfish!” she pulled him with all her might as the 7 year old boy chuckled.

“I thought you said you hate starfish,” he teased her. She pouted.

“I only said I hate Patrick…”

“So what? Patrick is still a starfish,”

“Uggh! I hate you!”

End of the flashback

Tracing his hand along the picture, he found himself missing her again.

How could he not? She’s his other half. Her heart is beating for him.

Long hair, chocolate eyes, thick eyebrows, rosy cheeks… she looked so happy in the picture.

How he wished, he could trade his life for her instead of the opposite…

Flashback

“Mom! Why can’t I play with oppa?!!!” She whined. It’s been awhile since she played with him and she started to miss him.

“Oppa is sick honey…” her mom caressed her long hair.

“Why?”

“Oppa’s heart is weak… So, he has to rest…”

“Can’t he take my heart?” she asked again with her bright eyes only to be disappointed when her mom shook her head.

“So, can I stay beside oppa? I don’t want him to be lonely…” the woman smiled and nodded.

End of the flashback

The pure crystals yet again trailed down his cheeks. He missed her – again. His dark chocolate orbs showing how fragile he is. How fragile he is when she’s no longer here. Having to accept the reality that his other half was no longer here. She’s no longer here…

Flashback

“He won’t last that long…” he hid himself behind the door with Jaejin. He knew it already though they refused to talk to him about his condition. He knew that his heart is weakened.

“How about the heart’s transplant? There must be a person who compatible with him,” he heard the doctor sigh and from the cracking voice earlier, he knew, his mom is crying again.

“There is…” “Really?!!! So, my son still has hopes…” they heard a silence inside the room for awhile before the doctor spoke again.

“Only Jaejin’s heart is compatible with his… I’m sorry…” He wasn’t really surprised with the fact. Really. He knew it already, long ago. He felt someone tugging his shirt as he was lost in his thoughts. Turning around, his eyes met with Jaejin – a-crying-Jaejin indeed.

“Oppa… Are you really going to leave me?”

End of flashback

Holding the tickets on his hand, he walked into the airport rather casually far different from his usual serious style. His thumbs gently caressed the two airplane tickets on his hands. After checking in, he walked to gate 9. With a determined expression, he took a deep breath before moving his feet.

Flashback

“Oppa! Look! An airplane!!!” Jaejin jumped excitedly showing the plane on the sky. He laughed as he saw her jumping around. After the plane disappeared, she sat beside Jaejoong on the bench. There are some other patients who walked around the park accompanied by their families. Just like him…

“Oppa...” “Hmm…” he mumbled.

“After you got better, let’s go to Japan. I want to visit our trees there,” she said as she leaned on his shoulder. He could feel his shirt wet. He knew that she’s crying again. But, he didn’t say anything because apparently, the tears also happened to stain his cheeks.

End of the flashback

His eyes looked at the scenery outside the window as Seoul slowly fading under the thick cloud. Leaning against the seat, he looked at the seat beside him. He slightly smiled before looking out to the window again.

Flashback

His heart was thumping madly. He knew something bad happened to her. He just knew. He wanted to go out when his parents and the doctor suddenly came.

 “We’re going to do the surgery tomorrow…” the doctor said to him. He looked at his parents questioningly. But they just nodded. He noticed his mom’s eyes were red and puffy.

“Where’s Jaejin?” he asked as the room suddenly silenced.

“Honey, let’s do the operation first, I’ll bring Jaejin later, okay?” he shook his head furiously.

“No!!! I want to meet Jaejin first!” the doctor signaled the nurse to pass him the syringe.

“Noo!!! Something happened to her right?!!! Tell me!!!” his struggling slowly fading as he slowly doze off.

End of flashback

This place. They used to play here when they’re still small. When they were 5 years old, they planted trees here. Two to be exact. He caressed the big trees. 20 years already passed. He remembered their vow to come here again. Together.

“Jaejin… you’re a liar…” he mumbled.

Flashback

“Promise me… live happily…” she gave him one last smile before fading away. He held his hand out not wanting to let her go. But she disappeared… fading along with their memories.

Months passed, he finally could accept that she’s already gone. The day before his surgery, Jaejin was involved in a car accident as she was crossing through the road. She got an internal bleeding inside her brain. The doctors said she could’ve fight for her life but she didn’t…. and he knew why…

End of the flashback

‘You said we’ll come here together, remember? How come you let me come here alone? You jerk…’ he kneeled down in front of the trees. His hands slowly dug the ground. He then placed a necklace inside the small hole and buried it. Smiling, he looked up the trees.

‘I’ll eat as twice, smile as twice, cry as twice, work as twice and try everything as twice as hard, so that you’ll know I’m living happily. I’m living this life for you… for both of us. You’re sly. Leaving me behind to do all this huh? Saranghae…” he whispered as tears slid down his cheeks.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

5:41a.m

-Sya’ak Lee-

After (Hou) by Zhang Li Yin

 since I'm lazy to write new things, I just post up something I wrote months ago... hehe...

After is a track from Li Yin’s 1^st album, I Will. This song shows off the strong and independent strength of a girl. Li Yin’s strong vocal really blew me off every time I listened to this song.

This song has no MV for it but I’m planning to do one since I like this song so much. I’m doing a One-Shot story based on this song but since I’m quite busy with other things, I got a writer-block lately.

After or Hou is a Chinese song with a deep meaning. It’s the opposite of Timeless, her first single. Timeless is a promise between two lovers. But After is a sad song that implies the aftermath of a broken relationship.

“Love is an extravagant form of loneliness”

This line means how the love that once the source to warm the heart turned into the loneliness that couldn’t even be bear by one’s heart. From the lyrics, we know the girl leave the guy first but she never realized how much it hurts until the guy choose to leave.

“My breath is dying down, tears are mocking my foolishness
My heart has no energy left to turn back” 

These lines indicate that she realized that she’s wrong but she knew, it just couldn’t be changed and as a result, she lose faith which is the source of energy for the heart. Faith is one of the most powerful things in the world. It can make you smile but yet kill you at the same time...  Why? Because when you keep your faith in the wrong things, you’re holding onto things that aren’t yours and thus it’ll slowly kill you… Aren’t you going to agree with me?

Lyrics Translation

After

For me who had already lost my memories
Love is an extravagant form of loneliness
My shaking hands, the warmth that can’t be caught
My heart had already fell to pieces

(I DON'T KNOW) why you left
(I DON'T KNOW)
(I DON'T KNOW) your love
(I DON'T KNOW) will never return

Love has no excuses
There was a time in this world where you were the sole beauty
The gray sky; the end of memory lane
Ever since I lost you
My heart finally knew how much it hurt

For me whose heart had already stopped beating
Is shrinking into the distant background
My breath is dying down, tears are mocking my foolishness
My heart has no energy left to turn back…

(I DON'T KNOW) why you left
(I DON'T KNOW)
(I DON'T KNOW) your love
(I DON'T KNOW) will never return

Love has no excuses
There was a time in this world where you were the sole beauty
The gray sky; the end of memory lane
Ever since I lost you
My heart finally knew how much it hurt…

(I DON'T KNOW)
(I DON'T KNOW)
(I DON'T KNOW) You said you’d leave NO NO NO NO NO NO

(I DON'T KNOW)......

The lonely melody; the suffocating air
A lost love is the only reality
Who is willing to hear me out?
My heartbreaking cries, my longings till the end
It was then did I know that only pain was left
(No more turning back)
(Love has no excuses)
(There was a time in this world) this world (you were the sole beauty)
(The gray sky; the end of memory lane)
(Ever since I lost you) you’ve left already (my heart finally knew how much it hurt…)

After I left you

Cr; Chocolyn.org

p/s: Along, ble nk belanje ak??? hehe