A person we are...

I really wanted to update this blog these few days back, but I think all the works were draining me out. Though I still have lots to do but I guess I'll just take some time to write something...

despite all the piling works...T__T

This one isn't written due to any particular reason. Just feeling like reflecting on my own mistakes...

When God created us, he never promised us that life is going to be easy but he did promise that He'll always be there...

But, how many of us actually REALLY realize that?

to really realize that Most of us failed to hold on to that...

Why?


Because not much of us had that ability to keep holding on.

To REALLY depend on him. No. We.don't.

Thinking we're better than everyone else

Always the cocky prick we are...

Always being conceited... continue to live in vain.

Judgmental. That's what we are.

That we're better than anyone else.

That the others were just a mere nuisance...

But actually,,, if only... just if only... if only we think a little bit deeper. Just a little bit.

Put ourselves in the person's shoe... Feel his pain... Then, I guaranteed we won't even dare to look into that person's eyes.

If only we think.

So far,,, is it really that tough?

I'm actually having an inner conflict on what to write for my 'English Studies' essay... Our lecturer asked us to write an essay based on this,  

"When the going gets tough, the tough gets going"


What would you write? Pretty hard huh?

Honestly, after giving much thought about it, I came to a dead end... I don't know what is actually the so-called 'tough' moments I've ever had.

It'd be an absolute lie if I said I don't have any

But, now, I don't feel like all the 'tough' moments are really tough.

At least,,, I think Li Yin had it harder than me... lol~

True it was tough at that one moment but I'd say, if I didn't undergo through all the 'toughness', would I really be who I am today?

Would I?

I think the best part of it all is that after going through it all, you'd be a better person...

if you really learn...

In Malay, they describe it as "tak mudah melatah"

That's why most of time now, I'd just smile or laugh...

Because when I feel like "this is hard", I always recalled back all those moments when I had to fight with myself, my will, all alone...

Friends? I have them...

But most of the time, I don't want to drag them with me. Coz one of my principles is; "Never drag the people I love to die with me"

Sometimes when I'm having a really hard time, there are times when I stopped and think, then I'd smile and thank HIM for not giving this hardship to the people I love.

Coz it's much painful seeing them in pain rather than experiencing it myself.

Okay, seems like my nagging is slowly getting longer...

I'm soooooo lazy~

T___T

I've lost my mind~

God! Luckily I'm wearing something decent tonight or else the fire drill would've been a nightmare...-_-"

and yeah... I was awakened by the "kebakaran! kebakaran!" and shouts here and there...

and I just grabbed my jacket and wear it then waited for my roommate before the both of us join the crowd...

I'm really debating whether to grab my notebook or not... thinking whether it's really 'a fire' or just a fire drill coz everything seemed like real...

and yeah, I left it... but not my phone... well, at least if something do happen, I could still make a call and said my last words... lol~
`````````````````````
T__T  I still got many works to be finished...

I still haven't finish filling in the 'borang tuntutan'... arrgghh! so much trouble! The thing is even if we don't want to claim anything, we still have to write a letter stating that we don't want to claim anything...

OMG... so much trouble...

so, better claim 'em...

and what's up with the OMG thingy???

lol~

It's our class trademark... the story behind it? ermm... maybe next time... ^^

Arrgghhh! I still got many works to do... ES, LDV, LDS... etc -_-"

Life is not that easy after all...

I think I'm getting lazier each day... way to go Sya'ak Lee...
`````````````````````````````````
Just something random...

I think compared to Ikkun, I'd prefer Anth more... Though Ikkun is more kiyowo2!!! ^^

but since I'm more mesmerized with Anth, so Ikkun could only step back... lol~

I want to go back!!!

since I cannot go back next week... T__T (ayam goreng~ T__T)

but at least next week I'm going to Perlis! hahaha!

Forget to tell you guys, I'm now under 'Lajnah Ekonomi' BADAM which stands for 'Badan Dakwah Dan Moral'. so basically, we're doing all the things we could to find money for BADAM minus robbery of course... ^^
`````````````````````````
another random thing...

I don't know how and why but I heard things bout how some of them here couldn't stand the way I talked...

like "I joined the debate tea...bla...bla...bla.." "I was in PUM as a bla...bla..bla.."

and to think that they said they're afraid that I'd become riya' if I kept on saying that... and that I should just keep my mouth shut and stay at a corner...

God! That's soooooo not me. (My father would never approve me doing that)... and I'm not bragging, I'm being thankful of who I was and who I am today...

but again they don't know... They would never know...

of how much I had sacrificed to be who I am today.

of how much I've gone through to be who I am today.

Keep on making excuses...pfftt... riya'???

How much did you learn about this to ever say someone like that?

and don't you think it's you making 'fitnah' instead? ppfftt...

I think I've written it clearly on my fb, for the 'favorite quotation' part, I did wrote this> Back off haters coz I won't give a damn!

and I.meant.it.


At least, if you really want to hate me, do it proudly. Tell it straight to my face. Don't just talk behind me as if I would never know anything.


If you think you cannot compete with someone, don't tell them to keep quiet so that you can shine. You're gonna make a fool out of your own self.


coz I've had it harsher than this.

At least, I never stepped on you guys or anyone else to be who I am today...


If you feel like hating me would make you comfortable, go on... be comfortable...

I don't have any problem with that.

and I'm not angry with you guys either... not even a bit...

coz at least I know, you hate me coz I'm just too good...

and please... just cross that "takut jadi riya'...bla...bla...bla..." and "kami sayang...bla...bla..." thingy...

I can still live without your so-called 'sayang'...


and In fact, I've lived for more than 19 years without it... ^^

````````````````````````````
 Who's 'you guys' and 'them'???

Let it just be a secret... and no. no one told me who 'they' are...

I found it out myself... and no. I'm not judging 'them'.

I read them... It's a simple thing that everyone could do.

All you need to do is just look around you carefully...

Okay, I still need to finish my works...-_-"

p/s: riya'= http://hikmatun.wordpress.com/2009/10/03/riyak-syirik-yang-terkecil/

Please... at least just learn islam a little bit deeper before you point your fingers...

God, why do I feel like this is just toooo funny???

^^

I refuse to love and be loved...yet

I know... you guys are going to think like "What's with that title?" or maybe... "OMG! WTH?!!"

Well, I'm now listening to JYJ's fallen leaves... The very first song from JYJ that I'd give 8/10... Though I do know they sang with all their heart (I've no doubt that they're very good) but the melodies and the lyrics couldn't reach my heart... Well, that should be another whole different story...

or should I just continue to give comments about songs?

lol~ Just kidding~

So far, now I think I'm starting to live a very hectic life (on certain days) but still, somehow, though it's not easy, I could still go on, not wanting to lose...

Something I hadn't felt for quite a very long time...

So, what's up with the lonely title? lol~

Actually, I'm just wanna share something here. So that it won't continue bugging my mind...

``````````````````````````
There, it started off rather nicely... though many things happened but I'd still consider it as a nice start but the ending... I know there are things that better left untouched...

Ignorance after all is a bliss

Here, I'd say that it didn't start out nicely to begin with... I don't know why... maybe it's because I'm just too good that they're so jealous with me? lol~ Just kidding!

but, how come I didn't feel anything being accused like that?

How come I'm not hurt at all?

How come this is nothing compared to the things I've gone through before?

and again... I kinda know the answer.

because I don't love them yet... and I know why...

It's probably because we've just known each other less than a month...

but, deep in my heart, I know I'm being more cautious this time. I cannot vow to myself to not to love anymore or to despise love coz I know, somehow, one day, that wall will definitely break.

and the most I could do is being more cautious...

So that I won't waste my tears for those who never appreciate my love

Coz love always come with a price tag...

and the price you had to pay sometimes is just too great

way too great...

that you could never afford it.
```````````````````````````````
Though I kept my head up high all the time... I'm still a girl and that's a fact.

Girls are not like men. Why did they said that girls are fragile?

coz for every girl, every woman, love is their whole life...

what kind of love it is? you judge it yourself...


How about men? Don't they love?

Yes. They do... But for men, love is only a portion, just a part of their life...

Therefore, even if a girl kept her head up high, she's probably even more fragile than the men who never had the gut to look up...


if you betray their love...

Here in IPG...

I'm missing USIM!!! lol~

Okay, feel honoured Ex-Tamhidians... coz I'm missing you guys sooo much!!!

Especially my ex-housemates, D-3-6 and TST 8 students and also some account students including shaby-kun, shiro...etc2... Ahh!!! There's so much~

huhu

but most of all, I'm missing FSU cafeteria... hak3

Food here far more expensive than in Nilai and there's not much choice either. So, as always,,, biscuits would be the best choice coz actually I'm very particular about the food I ate when I'm far from home...

I hate getting sick when I'm far from home... -_-

and as I said before, I'm not picky when it comes to food but never ask me whether it's delicious or not coz it'd be another looooong story... huhu...

Enough bout that...

Basically I'm happy being here though there are certain things somehow been bugging my mind but basically,,, that's it.

.I.AM.HAPPY.

I think being here had really change me somehow and I think it's gonna give a very huge impact to my life.

Nevertheless, it's a good change. and I liked it.

I'm grateful to HIM for giving this to me.

Sometimes, it even made me think that if I were to die without knowing so much things, it'd be a pity.

I think that's why I'm still breathing today.


and to think that I've given up on life before... -_-"


Sometimes, looking around made me unconsciously smile.

Compared to my friends back in USIM, most of them here are really matured.

Things that I rarely found in my friends back then.

but of course, there're certain things that they're still lacking such as life and experience...

Funny how that one year made so much difference in our way of thinking.

but that isn't how it is actually. Be it 1 year apart or even 10 years apart, if you're reluctant to learn the lessons, it'll be just a waste of time...

and yeah~ it's a pity...

So here, I got more 'adik'... haha!

and one of them even asked my opinion about love. lol~

Though I really want to answer him that "That kind of love is just a waste of time..."

but, I know I can't corrupt their point of view with my radical way of thinking.

lol~

Life here is a lot more easier than USIM, i'd say... Though there's lots of unexpected things but it's more fun that way. Isn't it?

Being a 'cikgu' is not bad at all~

but one more funny thing is there's only 'cikgu' here, therefore if you want a husband who work as a lawyer, or engineer, or scientist or whatever... you can't find them here... lol~

Here, we have class untill 1.15p.m, then finish! There are days that we've to go back on 3.30p.m but I'd say it's much much much better than my schedule in USIM.

and I just have to walk back to my hostel which is not that far. It's just like from FSU to the bus stand in front of FPQS...

lol~

and to think that Appa said it's quite far when he lead me to the hostel, the first day I'm here... -_-"

So, far I also liked the hostel here. It might not be that new. But I like it....

I think it's long enough...

I'll be right here again next time.

Should I write about my hostel or my course here? Hmm~ Tell me your opinion...

Till then~

p/s: Happy 19th birthday to diB. Welcome to the club 19th!!! hahaha!

Sometimes, I wish I'm 18 instead of 19.... T___T

I'm old~