Love You, Sorry...

Hey guys...
lol~ I'm so tired because of the debate today... but,,, we managed to win all the first 3 rounds... and I'm actually quite nervous for tomorrow~

~~~~~ I'm sooo afraid~

Okay, cut that crap. Anyway,,, I'm going to do my best along with my team mates Dely and Afifi and also Sarah... Let's fight together!!!! GO KKNC!!!!

Actually tonight I'm just feeling like writing something so I choose a title 'Love You, Sorry'...

Enjoy!
*********************************

Love You, Sorry...

If someone were to ask me why am I here? I would simply answer I don’t know and that’s what I do now. Hands reaching the paperwork on the other side of the table I stopped for a moment as my eyes caught a glimpse of a very familiar book. It’s been a long time. I know that. 

I stared at the book for a moment before reaching it, completely forgetting about the paperwork earlier. I can’t really tell how I feel but I know my heart is somehow aching as I flipped through the black diary. 

20^th January 2009

            Looking into his eyes, my heart seemed to stop beating. The world seemed to stop moving as I could only see him, only him. There’s no other. What is the definition for this unexplainable feeling? How would I know? I had lived all my life loving only one person who just couldn’t love me back. It’s hurting me but all I know I just can’t forget about him though I tried. It’s hard. Loving someone who couldn’t love you back, is just hard…

23^rd January 2009

            It’s that feeling again. GET. OUT. OF. MY. LIFE.

5^th March 2009

            Denial? No. definitely not.

  I stopped flipping the pages. Short but every single word have its own meaning and only I, know the meaning behind them. Perhaps it's because that I am the one who cause the owner of this diary to write every single words inside this black diary.

The image of her still strongly glued inside my mind. I can't really tell why. Perhaps, it's due to this feeling. or perhaps, it's because I haven't forgiven myself. 

Perhaps...


All that I know is that only now I know how does it feels to be left. How does it feels to be wronged by the people around you...


But, it's already too late. Too late...


Perhaps, all that I can say now is forgive me.

Love you, sorry.


*********************************


It's very short... lol~ Actually the former title for this story is 'Look only at me' or in Korean 'Na man bara bwa'


and it's not actually a story... us writers call this as 'drabble'...


P/S: You know what, when I write the last word, 'drabble', my mind was like somehow suddenly give a P.O.I, "Can you define what is drabble." Lol~ So much for being a debater... Geez~


*P.O.I > Point Of Information (Some of us make it as a joke by saying that it is the Point Of Interruption... lol~)


P.O.I means 'Izin Laluan' in malay....


Till then,


<3 <3 <3

Just sooo random~

I'm practicing for the debate tonight.... and so,,, while waiting for them to finish, I went to Umi's group discussion on the other side of the cafe...

and so,,, we take some pics... me, umi and shaby-kun... lol~

Especially for ctie! Happy Birthday

Huhuhu~

I know I post up this quite late, but forgive me... :)))

internet is sooo slow nowadays~

lol~

Ctie already seen this but I'm dedicating this to my friends and those who I appreciate the most...

I already translated the song this time... keke~

It's very hard~

Anyway, enjoy!

Song : Happy Together by Super Junior

Dedicated to ctie!!!

Diri ini tersangat letih

Akhirnya tergerak jua hati untuk menaip entri dalam bahasa melayu... Entahla... Mungkin rasa tensyen yang sedang mengusai diri.

Tensyen menghadapi sakit di kepala dan di kaki

Tensyen menghadapi dunia yang entah apa2

Tensyen menghadapi penerimaan orang

Tensyen menerima tohmahan yang dilempar dari belakang oleh mereka - mereka itu tapi enggan untuk berdepan dengan diri ini

Kata si dia suatu ketika dahulu kepada aku, 'Baliklah kamu kepada Allah, Tuhan yang mencipta kamu'

Lantaran itu, diri ini tiba-tiba masih mampu tersenyum kerana 'setitis derita melanda, segunung kurnia-Nya'

Siapa diri ini? biarlah Dia yang menentukan segalanya kerana apa yang tersembunyi dihati tidak pernah mungkin mampu diselam oleh seorang manusia pun.

Manusia hanya tahu menghukum tidak pernah mahu memahami.

Mahu difahami tetapi gagal untuk memahami.

Apa guna baik dimata orang jika dimata Dia tidak?

Adakah sesiapa yang sudi menjawab persoalan-persoalan ini?

Apa guna hidup mengharap pada pandangan manusia sedang langsung membelakangi Yang Maha Esa?

Apa guna mengharap dihormati sedang diri tidak pernah belajar untuk menghormati?

Diri ini sangat letih cuba memahami...

Terlalu letih...

Sehingga hati kini menjadi beku.

Diri ini terlalu merindui mereka...

12:05 a.m, Selasa, 14/02/2011

bla... bla... bla...

Just one short entry before going to campus...

so bla... bla... bla...

I'm so sleepy... not enough sleep~ Only 2 hours...

I need to finish the script for english drama ASAP!

so... what else? Critical thinking!

Brilliant!

lol~

so, let's post up some pics shall I?hahaha

During Arabic presentation

Eating!

Lol~ Mary~

In Tutorial class

Amalina and Ida

 and finally, here's another one...

Borhan! hak3

so... I'm going!

Bye!!!

Ignore this (Ridiculous!) X___X

I'm going to use this little time to post one last entry before going back to USIM... ok,,, Nilam to be specific...

Time do passes by quickly... T___T

It'll be another 3 months before I'm coming back again... huhuhuhuhu...hu...huk..huk...huk

lol~

Currently listening to 'How Can I' by TVXQ (HoMin) but not gonna write any review bout this song... just not yet...

It's cold in Terengganu this one week. Why did I say that? Because in Nilai, I wear a 0.5 inch-thick comforter as my lovely blanket but here, it's 1 inch-thick toto as a blanket and I just put the speed 1 for the fan in my room... Okay,,, I know I'm not normal...

I'm too sensitive to temperature... *sigh*
(That's why I don't think I'm going to visit any country with temperature less than 16 degree Celcius... Brrrrr~ It makes me freezing already...)

so,,, going back meaning
1. More work
2. More headache
3. More sigh
4. More craziness
5. Less internet...

-_-"... Okay,,, I know I'm being ridiculous...

Arrrggghhh! Someone just please marry me already!

I'm dead~

x___X

1...2...3...Smile!

feel like updating now...
and 1...2...3 and smile! What's that?

It's actually a title of a malay novel (1...2...3...Senyum!) that I tried to make, once... but now,,,, -__-" I guess the passion doesn't last long huh?

Today I went to a DATE... and it was very very very fun! (minus the nagging that I got from Along) lol~ but, I think I'm gonna write bout that later after Mir uploaded that pic...

Currently listening to a song... Me & song...(it's common right?)
hahaha

No mood to make cover songs... the last one I did with shaby-kun and umi which by the way, is not complete yet... Just so you know, I.am.lazy.

so,,, 1...2...3...smile!
what's that???

Sya'ak : don't know *shrugged off*

so, let's ditch the title and nag for awhile, shall we?

Being wronged, being judged by people made me damn depressed... not always... just sometimes.
tsk...tsk...tsk...
No matter how much I tell myself that you Sya'ak, should never depend on others! should never care bout how they look at you!
It'll make you weak...
It'll make you cry...
and most importantly,,, it'll make you lose the faith...


Once, I told a friend... don't expect people to be on your side all the times. coz they're just human being.
one day, they'll leave you...
No matter how much you love them... One day, they'll left.
Instead, be strong and always believe that you have Allah...
be on bright days or stormy days...
but,,, how many of us actually do that???

Ahem,,, I guess, some will misunderstand my words if I don't do further explanation...
It doesn't mean that you don't have to find friends... friends are necessary...
they're important in one's life...
It's just that,,, never expect them to always be on your side... even your families...

I think there are some words I always tell people around me, especially to those who I treasure the most...
"If one day, you finally found your future, your life, something that you value, or maybe just something better than being with me... Just leave me, I won't mind, I won't stop you, just don't expect me to walk along with you once you've chosen... One thing though, you must remember, when you don't have anyone to turn to, just look back and you'll find me..."

I'm not kidding, I did told them... maybe some... not all...
It's just that I usually use Malay... (Don't expect me to always use english...lol~ my tongue need a little break~)

What I want to imply in my nagging today is just,,, never expect for sympathy nor empathy...
It's pathetic...
Being sad is okay, telling others is okay, but don't expect for sympathy... Expect that from Allah!

I know some people around me like this...
and I don't give a damn!
coz you don't even try to face the life, yet wanting me to be with you...

Apparently, I.won't.do.that.

When you try to face it strongly yet you failed, I'll give my hand and pull you up again...

and once I give my hand I would never back off and leave you...

I'll make sure, in the end,

It'll be you who'll left...


so,,, 1...2...3...Let's smile!

p/s : This post is dedicated to all my friends and specially written for someone... one word for that someone, let's stop living this life pathetically and open your eyes...