Masih di sini... (My story with K-pop)

Di mana???

depan komp la... Geez~

I spent 3 hours just now reading many comments... The feelings was pretty undefined since sometimes I just laugh and sometimes get pissed off and sometimes I just......-_-" Couldn't blame them though, we have our very own opinions... =)

Somehow, though I'm always on9 these 2 or 3 days but I don't feel like going anywhere but Chocolyn... There're times when I just logged in to Chocolyn without doing anything but rather staring at the shoutbox hoping that someone could at least post up something... huhu... I found myself pretty pathetic being like that... but only on Chocolyn dear... only Chocolyn...

1st May will be the 1st day for official Chocolyn summer party... Pretty excited bout that but since other fellow chocolates are still voting the date... so I'm just waiting for the confirmation. I'm still hoping that Melissa would set it on 1st May. At least I won't be deppressed long if the UPU result is not up to my expectation... hihi...

+ I'm also hoping that they'll agree to do the planned spammage on SM fanboard... haha... Pretty crazy huh? Glad if anyone thinks so because nowadays, chocolates are pretty pissed off because of some rumors+things involved our fanclub... like the official name thingy...etc

Truthfully, I'm truly involved in K-pop world since late 2007... X-man was the first korean entertainment program I ever watched. Never planned on being a fan of any bands/singers/groups and I never imagined that one day, I would join a fanclub! hua3... Anyway, I started to get to know to Suju, CSJH, DBSK, Wonder Girls...etc

Early 2008, I discovered her and instantly like her because of her strong mature image but still not really into this fans thingy. Because 2008 is the year where I'm too busy with works, TGC thingy, I rarely involved myself in K-pop, just sometimes, I would watch some shows... but mostly I'll watch K-drama/movies online + taiwanese dramas...

After I accidentally broke my leg, using the wheelchair, I can't do anything... and that's when I started to really watch all the shows... I watched many shows and little by little I started to recognize every single bands, artists, MC's, Comedian, actors, actresses...etc
Then, we have wireless connection at home so I always stayed up watching the shows/dramas/movies at night...

I'm actually having some depression problems in 2009... The reasons??? Well, actually I already forgotten about the reasons but I still could remember the pain. People says, When you couldn't even remember the reason why you're hurting, that's the time when you've already moved on... and yeah... I've moved on... I think about a month before SPM, after almost a year keeping the pain... Geez~ should've moved on earlier... hua3...

Anyway, I watched the shows to avoid depression (it worked at least for that mere seconds) because I actually already forgot how to really laugh... how to be happy without thinking any problems... In other words, I'm numb in front of people. Feeling timid, scared, but couldn't show those feelings to other... afraid I would be a weakling...

I found myself laughing so happily when I watched the shows. The feelings is just..... couldn't describe it... huhu... That's when I openly showed to my close friends that I liked Suju... Yeah... I adored them because of the love between ELF and Suju... (though some ELFs could get pretty annoying... well, not all...) but don't have much thought of being a fan... Told ya, I'm immune to pretty/handsome/cute boys...

During june or july, I decrease the time watching the shows... well, mostly because most of the subbing teams hadn't finish subbed the newest vids... and they still couldn't find the raw videos ...

But I still listened to songs... Her songs...

2010, I joined Chocolyn... I didn't really into the new groups... because I think I've already found the one... + their musics/songs never get my attention. I still watched their shows but it just up to the word 'like', not 'love'... I only prepare one spot for my favorite one and she already filled that spot... (Why did it sound so cheesy??? x_x)

and that's my story with K-pop... @.@ 5.30a.m!!!!

dan aku MASIH DI SINI??!!!

hehe...

Dia tersenyum hari ini...

Pukul 4.30, aku pun cepat2 panggil Mundzir dan suruh dia pergi ke kedai utk beli roti dan air soya. Ya, air soya... Itu air favourite dia. Pukul 5 aku pun pergi berjalan kaki ke rumah yang jaraknya tak sampai 200m dari rumah aku...

Sampai kat situ, mcm biase aku bunyikan loceng. Dia buka pintu dan aku msuk. In awl2 lg dh lari kedapur ble tau ak dtg... huhu... Aku bg roti dan air tu kat afiq dan dia pun kedapur.

Dia tunjukkan aku sesuatu kat facebook.

doc da brntikan ubt tido 2 smlm. adib da mule gnggam tgn mama,kaki die da gerak cket2..alhamdulillah..blood pressure tgi..myb sbb die bru bgn n da rase saket kt bhgn2 yg cedera..td doc da buat scanning..doakan keputusan yang menggembirakan ya :)

Dan dia senyum. A genuine smile... Sesuatu yang dah hilang darinya sejak hari ahad yang lalu. Bukan dia tak pernah tersenyum sblm ni. Tp, senyumannya senyuman duka. Aku berckp dengan dia sedar tak sedar lebih dr 1 jam.

Pukul 6.15ptg aku pulang ke rumah dengan perasaan yang agak ringan. Mungkin aku tak mmpu merasai bagaimana perasaannya apabila menghadapi dugaan sehebat ini. Tapi, aku tahu perasaan yang lahir dari hati aku ini bukanlah simpati. Ia perasaan kompleks yang lahir dari hati seorang sahabat yang inginkan sahabatnya kembali senyum seperti dulu. Akhir-akhir ni, apabila terbaca sahaja postnya di facebook atau blog, air mataku terus mengalir... langsung mood aku terpadam kerana memikirkan bagaimana untuk menunjukkan pd dia supaya jangan takut dan jangan putus asa...

Tadi aku bercakap dengan Mak Chik psl tu... Mak Cik seorang nurse dan dia kata kes2 mcm ni biasalah... Almost everyday pembedahan otak berlaku di hospital. Yg penting jgn hilang harapan dan biar pesakit tahu bahawa keluarga dan kwn2 dia ada... Bile dia igt keluarga, semangat dia untuk hidup akan bertambah kuat... Byk gak la Mak Chik cerita psl org2 yang mengalami perkara yang lbih krg sme akhirnya sihat kembali... Walaupun ambil mse yang lme... tak pe... yang penting kita semua ada...

Dia tak bergurau. Pak Chik sendiri dulu pernah sakit. Aku lupa penyakit dia, tp, dh smpai ke stage 4 mse tu (thun lps rsenye...) Tapi mereka sekeluarga tak pernah putus asa. Semangat yang diberi drpd org2 yang tersyg is indeed the greatest cure. Far greater than any other medicine... Dan hari ni Pak Chik nmpak sihat... Aku sendiri agak terkejut melihat dia kelmarin...

Aku harap senyuman tu tak akan padam lagi. Tuhan, tolonglah... jgn kau tarik lagi senyuman itu dari wajahnya. Seluruh jiwa ragaku sakit tatkala aku memikirkan dia yang sedang bersedih... For that smile, I'm willing to give up on everything... just to see her smile again...



Aku harap semua dpt doakan agar Muhamad Adib Aiman Bin Md. Noh dapat sembuh dan kembali kepada keluarganya...

Dan aku, sentiasa percaya bahawa dia akan kembali semula kepada mereka kerana jauh di sudut hati aku, aku tahu dia seorang yang cekal dan kuat...

Ya Allah,
Hambamu ini lemah Ya Allah...
Berilah dia kekuatan...
Bantulah dia hadapi dugaan ini...
Janganlah kau berikan dia dugaan yang tak mampu ditanggung olehnya...
Kuatkanlah imannya...
Berilah dia peluang kedua untuk menyayangi Adib...
Ya Allah... Makbulkanlah doa kami...

Amin~

Entahla...

Akhirnya setelah 2 hari, aku berjaya menukar mod otak aku ke BM semula...^^
(Komen aiLee; hurm... ptt r time form 3 asyik dpt B memanjang utk BM... Mentang2 la BM tu mule ngan huruf B)

Sakinah dh balik smule ke rumah sbb dia nangis... huhu~ Baru 2 hari duk asrama dh blik... Tiada apa yang mampu beta buat melainkan gelak & gelak...

Byk yang terjadi minggu ni dan aku sebenarnya langsung tak ada mood nk on9... Setulusnya, ak x tau nk buat ape... Hanya boleh memberi sokongan pd mereka tnpa ad kuasa untuk berbuat apa-apa... Hanya boleh berharap pd Yang Esa supaya memberi kekuatan kepada mereka dan berdoa agar dia sembuh...


Aku skrg dalam perancangan untuk mengtranslate cerita bertajuk "Memories" kepada bhs melayu dan maybe ak akn post hari sabtu ni...

Cerita ni aku dedikasikan kepada seorang kawan baik aku yang telah byk membantu aku selama ni dan hari ini, aku agak terasa kerana langsung tidak mampu berbuat apa-apa untuk dia...

Apapun, aku percaya dia mmpu mengatasi ksdihan ni sbb motonya adlah 'I will survive!!!'
dan semoga dia thu yg kami sentiasa ad untuknya...

^^

Letih dan sunyi...

Hari ini saya merasa amat letih dan kesunyian. Walaupun ini bukanlah kali pertama dalam hidup, tapi, saya berasa agak sedih... Kenapa saya sedih? Entah... Manusia sebenarnya tidak perlu sebab untuk berasa sedih... Kenapa? Jangan tanya saya kerana saya amatlah tidak tahu...

Sakinah sudah pergi ke asrama dan tidak lama lagi saya pun akan meninggalkan rumah yang bernombor 270+271, TSM ini. =(

Otak saya sebenarnya kekeringan idea memenuhi permintaan-permintaan daripada pembaca-pembaca fiksyen berbahasa inggeris. Walaupun begitu, kerja tetap kerja... (walaupun tak bergaji...)^^

Saya mahu tidur sekarang tetapi memandangkan saya sudah tidur selama berjam - jam tadi, jadi saya langsung tidak rasa mengantuk sekarang...^^

Disebabkan terlalu banyak nyamuk, saya pun keluar ke sini dan membuka komputer memandangkan saya tidak dibenarkan memasang ubat nyamuk oleh doktor...

Otak saya terlalu bercelaru sekarang maka esok atau lusa saya akan menaip n3 baru memandangkan yang ini teramatlah bosan untuk dibaca...

Post ini telah ditulis oleh seseorang bernama Nursyakirah Binti Razalli


Menurut sya'ak dan aiLee, post ini ditulis dalam keadaan begini adalah akibat daripada kegagalan otak untuk bertukar dari mod bahasa inggeris kepada bahasa melayu...

Sambung sya'ak lagi, penulis terlalu asyik menulis didalam bahasa inggeris sehingga 'terlupa' bagaimana hendak menulis dalam bahasa melayu secara kasual lalu penulis terpaksa menulisnya dalam keadaan yang sedikit klasik...

Komen aiLee, Cintailah Bahasa Melayu!!!!

I'm thirsty~

hehe...

I don't have any particular title right now, so I just write a random one... huhu... I'm a little bit thirsty now, so I'm going to go to the kitchen for awhile... (I'll be right back!^^)

Okay, I'm back!

Kinah has been making fuss lately about living in the hostel... hehe... Right now, she's filling in the form. T_T
So sad... If she's going to live in the hostel, then who will pick up the dry clothes? lock all the doors? Wash the dirty clothes? Pick up the dirty clothes in my room(-_-")??? Preparing mom's clothes????

huhu... sounds like I'm a bad sister huh? *joking*

Most importantly, it'll be less 1 person for me to order around... (I'm such a dictator!!!^^)

That stalker queen really need to come back here as fast as possible... why? So she could help me doing all the house chores...^^

I'm soooo boosting up my stalking activities nowadays in Chocolyn... huhu...

I felt strangely unhappy these days... Don't know why, but it's killing me... -_-"
Maybe I'm just thinking and worrying too much...

No worry... I'm just fine... ^^

Anyway, I'm creating another blog coz I think it'll be a waste if I just let all my reviews rot in the pendrive... (",)
That blog is created for international fans especially fellow chocolyn members... I hope I could gain more fans for Li Yin through that blog...^^

That's all

Daa~

The devil named FAILURE

Okay, I wasn't planning on updating today because I don't have much things to share with you guys. But then, just now, I heard some commotion at the living room and so I went out. I found out that our little girl is crying while Abah is laughing (???)

Haha! That sounds a little bit weird. He actually laughed because Idah said she cried coz she lose in a competition or something like that...-_-"

They kept arguing about that... huhu... Coz Abah proudly said though he lose in a lot competition, but he nvr cried... -_-" (p/s: why would a guy cry b'coz of that??? hua3)

At first, I ignored them but suddenly I was taken aback by his sudden question to me...

"You nvr cried juz b'coz u lose right? or u did? coz I never saw u cried b'coz of that before..." *sarcastically* (He's just joking)

I just laughed though my heart felt so uneasy when I heard that... Lucky me, Idah shoved him to his room... huhu~

To begin with, I'm not a crybaby though I do admit that I cried a lot for some personal reason... but not in front of others... (It's just a no...no...)

The devil named FAILURE seemed to follow us a lot whether we're aware or not of this 'devil's' presence. I admit that I hate this devil very much and I don't want 'it' to follow any of the people that I love... It's just a heartbreaking moment to see them struggling to accept the failure coz they're people that I truly love.

Sometimes, when I accidently saw them cry because of that, I just wanted to embrace them so that the pain will go away or let me endure it for them... and I even prayed to God to never give them something that they can't endure... coz it hurt me too much watching them enduring the pain... and to think that if I'm not with them to share the pain... It hurts me so much...

Why did I suddenly bring up Abah's question? because I did cry because of failures... I think my life consist a lot of failures that I can't even mention it with words nor I have the tears to let everything go... I still remembered, sometimes I even cried in my sleep but I just can't show the people I love that I'm hurting coz I don't want them to feel it, like I did...

Because I know they just love me as much as I do...

Eventhough I hate it when the people I love facing this so called devil, I just can do nothing coz I know it's just a part of growing up. We grew up when we face failures and that's what make us became the person that we are today. It made us became stronger and independent though it's really painful...

For these past 5 years, I had changed a lot because of that... from someone introvert in the past to someone extrovert... From the shy girl to this strong and independent girl today... huhu~

In this n3 that I dedicate to the people I love, I wanna thanks them for supporting me and not leaving me when things get harder.

I owe my friends a lot because of that... Ctie, Dib, Ned, Mir, K-k, thanks for always being with me... Teen2, though she came late into my life, but there're times, she lent me her ears when I don't have anyone to turn to... :-)

To Along, though you're the stalker queen, but u know u have me behind you... and I will always stay in that spot though sometimes you can't even find me... hehe

To the other friends, that I didn't mention, please acknowledge that you're also the people that I love...

Lastly, to the people who came into my life for these past 5 years, (especially Cg. Adnan) there's no other words that could describe how thankful I am to you all... (even if it's kangkong and those cipot2...hua3... Though mir said that she already cooked you guys...)

and my family who had always accept me just the way I am...hehe

That's all... huhu

To Mir; actually sy teringat time kte dulu2... hehe... rahsia kte berdua~~~ hua3
To Ctie: Sory r ak sshkn mu je mse kt blkg bgunan f.4 time mesy PUM suatu ketika dulu~~
To Dib: Sy taw sy suke ckp... tp, time kasih r sbb dgr...hehe
To Ned: Ned, mu la yg plg lme duk skls ngan ak... hua3
To Teen2: Thanks sbb selalu bersama kami...
To Stalker Queen: sje je nk ltk nme mu... hahahaha!
To others : Thanks 4 reading... keke~

Seeing how stupid people could be... I???

Well, it's just too funny when we viewed things that happened in a bigger picture... The reason why I'm saying this??? I'm not going to state it since it'll probably a little bit disrespectful for other people... hehe... I should store some humanity in me even if a part of me do want to yell at those people who doesn't even know to distinguish what important and what's not...

I'm LoL-ing right now after reading those comments... It has always been my way viewing comments from both sides even if sometimes I do admit that I'm biased... Well, in some cases like... Li Yin??? hehe...

It's so funny to see that people sometimes are paying too much attention to what they shouldn't even meddle in... As an example; antis for the some k-pop group...

In my opinion, let's say I give an obvious example; SNSD or Girl's Generation...

They got so much antis when they debuted. But then again, that's what made them became the centre of the attention. Surprisingly, their antis are probably the most active antis that ever existed (I mean international antis)... These antis have their very own international forum which they called STAND, which stands for Stand Till All Nine Disappear (Correct me if I'm wrong)

Sometimes I went to their site to read the posts there and from one side, I think they just voice out their honest opinions. Another thing, their site already got more than 4000 members. Funny, how Chocolyn just achieved 1000 members and not to mention, The Grace doesn't even have their international forum. I pick up The Grace/CSJH and Zhang Li Yin because they came from the same company... and why I didn't add f(x)? That's because f(x) just debuted last year.

Let me get this straight, I'm not SNSD's anti so don't worry about me being biased coz I'm not their fan either.

I would like to point out to SNSD's fans who most of the times accusing antis being unreasonable. Well, they're sometimes unreasonable... but, there're some of them that actually being honest in most of their comments. I know fans would never read these antis comments, but antis did read the fans' comments... and they found out that fans accused them hating these girls because they're being close to the oppas they wanna marry...

Well, maybe it's true... but, I don’t think it’s the main reason because artistes like The Grace, Jang Ri In, KARA, 2ne1 and others doesn’t get the antis just because they’re close to the boys’ group. KARA is significantly close to SS501 boys… but I never heard International fans bashing them. Jang Ri In duet with Xiah and she didn’t get much antis either. Instead, many fans were hoping that they would do another duet again and not to mention that she’s also quite close with Suju. I’d say either it’s E.L.F or Cassiopeia, both sides approved her…(although there're some girls who just couldn't accept this...) ^^

The fact that some SNSD fans themselves create the antis by bashing whoever made their honest comments about this group. If you read what happened in 2008 Dream Concert, it does make me scared… I think it’s also Sones fault for provoking another fan bases. They should’ve known that other fans are also overprotective as they are when it’s something about their beloved idols.

Okay, now let's view from the fans' side. I think these girls are not as hateful as what the antis said. Indeed, their cute and bubbly personalities made people drawn into them. Just like any other artistes, popularity and publicity are very important to mantain their album sales. SNSD are gaining fans from all over the world these days. The last time I checked their International forum's members, It's more than 50000 members... @.@

They're just like any other artistes that wanted to be loved by fans... I'm glad if fans and antis never crossed the unseen line... Hating or loving has always been our rights. But, please store some humanities in us when making comments online because we'll never know if our so called comments would hurt someone...

If I were being frank, SNSD's abilities in singing never impressed me. In fact, I was never impressed in any groups including DBSK or Super Junior. That's why I'm not really fond of the groups. But that's just my opinion... Being a viewer, I always agreed with all fans that their artists got talents in entertainment field.

Wow! Such a long n3... I just typed this because I've nothing to share. Although I doubt it if anyone ever read this n3... Please leave your comments and let me know what do you think about this matter... ^^

I'm soooo....

so what???

Huhu...

I'm just updating because I promised a certain someone just now... hehe (Though I doubt it that she read the last n3... -.-")

We cooked 'ketupat sotong' today.... I don't really like it for the too milky taste... But since I'm spending my whole evening making that thing, I just tasted it... and surprisingly it tasted different! ^^ (See the hands la...huhu)

I spent three hours roaming around chocolyn... hehe... (Got to boost my posts there...)

I tried to cook steamed fish today and the result was surprisingly good! I can't believe Abah ate the fish not once, but twice! (about 4 ekor ikan kerapu...kecik jer...)

Not that I'm complaining, but, because of that, I had to cook again for Mundzir...*sigh* (Sape tak syg adik oii...)

Huhu... Not that my cooking skills that bad... but, Abah barely eat the 'lauk' that I cooked... Seemed like he preferred mom's cooking... No doubt... I also preferred hers rather than mine... hehe...

It's 3 a.m now, and I'm still here in front of the lapy... hehe... I guess I'll sleep tomorrow after finishing all the house chores....

I think you must've thinking why I didn't post the story that I wrote... Simple answer; I've no confidence... Yes... That's why I didn't let anyone read it... yet...

Although I already posted it on chocolyn, but that's a different case since the members in Chocolyn never know me personally... huhu...

Nowadays, I have to stop my language classes since the sound system is no longer working... T.T
That means I also can't listen to the songs anymore... hua3 (I'm getting crazy...)

Finally, I made a facebook account. Actually, my real reason is because of the pics... I wanted to find the old pics (after my pendrive broke...T_T)
I don't think I'll be requesting any friends... well, I just preferred to hit the "confirm" button... hehe... (I'm such a meanie...*pouting*)

These days I'm thinking about helping to 'recruit' new fans for Liyin... Since we (older chocolates) are getting older by years...*keke*
Need younger fans to spazz about her around the internet... LOL...

Aaaaahhhh!!! I'm bored to death these days... If it wasn't because I'm still too young + jobless, I would've gotten myself a baby (I mean adopt a baby...^^)
I'm really2 jealous to those who have nephews or niece or little siblings...

Isn't it great to have babies around... Along, I demand you to get married faster! hehe...
So much for being a 2nd child... (Got to wait for about 10 years for that stalker queen to settle down...-_-"")

Okay, enough for that crap... huhu...

Got to stop this before I get any crazier...

^^

Daa~

Lalala Love~ ^^

I'm happy today coz when I logged on to Chocolyn.org, someone read my story.... ^^


She said she liked it.... and another thing, I found lots of "suyin" pics there! Just soooo cute~ kawaii~~

I found out that I really fell in love with this thing...

It's Rhino!!! Gosh! He's so awesome!
His movement is totally the cutest!!! hua3

I just reply to shelly's e-mail and the others are watching 'The Wild' on Disney Channel... I already watched it before... so, I don't really care...

Today, I eat 'Nasi Kerabu'... Not really fond of it... But the one that I ate today is really one of the best...huhu

I dreamt lots of things these days... It's not really sweet... but it's not bad either... So, I'll just ignore them... hua3!

Okay...

That's all!

Daa~