Al'olio

Hey guys! ^^

It's school holiday and of course it's my holiday too!!! lol~

I've been watching some episodes of the Korean drama 'Pasta' while giggling, blushing, etc well... practically all the stuff that girls did when they watched drama.

Just like him

It's been quite long huh?

I've been here for so many times before, yet I couldn't move a finger to type even a word.

I just don't feel like writing anything...

Yeah... Many things happened. No joke.

Things that made me laugh. Things that made me cry...

09092011

lol~ I should say I feel soooo relaxed today~

No KKP, no lectures, don't have to think bout anything. Nothing! lol~

But, tomorrow I'll go back to my busy life.

with KKP, class' matter, friends and whatnot... x__X

and not to forget the piling up requests from all over the net... Geez~ have mercy on me, please~

An epitome of simplicity

and I called him 'The Black Wing Angel'

out of many, he impressed me.

he's an epitome of simplicity. Truthfully, I never see him as one before simply because appearance-wise, he's not.

and only God know how I feel when it is shown to me. It feels as if someone just slapped me. 

Take that b*tch! You're also one of the many who judged him

Well, it kinda hurts when your inner conscious just casually mocks you.


and the black wing angel. I bet he'd laugh if he read this.

*preparing to run to the end of the world*


God! why do I have to befriend this a little bit too annoying jerk ahem... I mean him...

 

when the day comes

It's been quite sometimes since the last time I'm here. Somehow I kept thinking of writing something on my blog but ended up Zzzzzzz on my bed~ hihi~


Life's been good. Not really smooth but at least, it can be considered as not bumpy either. Slowly, I'm adapting myself to this 'new' environment where there's no longer Hajar to talk to.

Where there's no longer Shaby-kun and Umi to fool around.

Where there's no longer ctie to lean on when life's getting hard.

Where there's no longer teasing and fooling around with TST 8.

True enough I did said that if I were given  chance to go through that one year again, I won't. It hurts way too much for me to bear at the end.

But, I already have gone through it somehow and I already happened to encounter all these people and fell in love with them.

Love made us strong, yet weak at the same time.

I won't deny the fact that maybe, there will be the day, in the future, tears might fall because I missed them way too much.

and when that day comes, I just know that I still love 'em way too much.
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God, I don't mean this entry to be a sad one. lol~

I should change the song now. Funny how much songs affect my feelings at that particular time.

Maybe I should reconsider pop as my favourite instead of ballad, R&B and soul. lol~

One problem though. Not much pop songs are written to depict life. Most pop songs nowadays, should I say dead?

Well, maybe lack of feelings is a much better term.


Enough about songs.

Now what? love? lol~

hey, I got a present for 'deklamasi sajak' last time. Hehe~

and for the 'Kuiz' Kemerdekaan' too~ lol~ I never expect that...

but that's what happen here. Expect the unexpected. That happens to me so many times that now I'm not really surprised anymore.

Instead, I feel grateful to God. coz I had always believe that He'll never even once let go of us.

It's always us who let go. Told ya, human is a cocky prick.

I don't want to think anymore. 


I want to sleep~ T___T

and yeah... I kinda know that someway somehow, I am also a cocky prick... lol~\


Just ignore me... ^^

A person we are...

I really wanted to update this blog these few days back, but I think all the works were draining me out. Though I still have lots to do but I guess I'll just take some time to write something...

despite all the piling works...T__T

This one isn't written due to any particular reason. Just feeling like reflecting on my own mistakes...

When God created us, he never promised us that life is going to be easy but he did promise that He'll always be there...

But, how many of us actually REALLY realize that?

to really realize that Most of us failed to hold on to that...

Why?


Because not much of us had that ability to keep holding on.

To REALLY depend on him. No. We.don't.

Thinking we're better than everyone else

Always the cocky prick we are...

Always being conceited... continue to live in vain.

Judgmental. That's what we are.

That we're better than anyone else.

That the others were just a mere nuisance...

But actually,,, if only... just if only... if only we think a little bit deeper. Just a little bit.

Put ourselves in the person's shoe... Feel his pain... Then, I guaranteed we won't even dare to look into that person's eyes.

If only we think.

So far,,, is it really that tough?

I'm actually having an inner conflict on what to write for my 'English Studies' essay... Our lecturer asked us to write an essay based on this,  

"When the going gets tough, the tough gets going"


What would you write? Pretty hard huh?

Honestly, after giving much thought about it, I came to a dead end... I don't know what is actually the so-called 'tough' moments I've ever had.

It'd be an absolute lie if I said I don't have any

But, now, I don't feel like all the 'tough' moments are really tough.

At least,,, I think Li Yin had it harder than me... lol~

True it was tough at that one moment but I'd say, if I didn't undergo through all the 'toughness', would I really be who I am today?

Would I?

I think the best part of it all is that after going through it all, you'd be a better person...

if you really learn...

In Malay, they describe it as "tak mudah melatah"

That's why most of time now, I'd just smile or laugh...

Because when I feel like "this is hard", I always recalled back all those moments when I had to fight with myself, my will, all alone...

Friends? I have them...

But most of the time, I don't want to drag them with me. Coz one of my principles is; "Never drag the people I love to die with me"

Sometimes when I'm having a really hard time, there are times when I stopped and think, then I'd smile and thank HIM for not giving this hardship to the people I love.

Coz it's much painful seeing them in pain rather than experiencing it myself.

Okay, seems like my nagging is slowly getting longer...

I'm soooooo lazy~

T___T

I've lost my mind~

God! Luckily I'm wearing something decent tonight or else the fire drill would've been a nightmare...-_-"

and yeah... I was awakened by the "kebakaran! kebakaran!" and shouts here and there...

and I just grabbed my jacket and wear it then waited for my roommate before the both of us join the crowd...

I'm really debating whether to grab my notebook or not... thinking whether it's really 'a fire' or just a fire drill coz everything seemed like real...

and yeah, I left it... but not my phone... well, at least if something do happen, I could still make a call and said my last words... lol~
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T__T  I still got many works to be finished...

I still haven't finish filling in the 'borang tuntutan'... arrgghh! so much trouble! The thing is even if we don't want to claim anything, we still have to write a letter stating that we don't want to claim anything...

OMG... so much trouble...

so, better claim 'em...

and what's up with the OMG thingy???

lol~

It's our class trademark... the story behind it? ermm... maybe next time... ^^

Arrgghhh! I still got many works to do... ES, LDV, LDS... etc -_-"

Life is not that easy after all...

I think I'm getting lazier each day... way to go Sya'ak Lee...
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Just something random...

I think compared to Ikkun, I'd prefer Anth more... Though Ikkun is more kiyowo2!!! ^^

but since I'm more mesmerized with Anth, so Ikkun could only step back... lol~

I want to go back!!!

since I cannot go back next week... T__T (ayam goreng~ T__T)

but at least next week I'm going to Perlis! hahaha!

Forget to tell you guys, I'm now under 'Lajnah Ekonomi' BADAM which stands for 'Badan Dakwah Dan Moral'. so basically, we're doing all the things we could to find money for BADAM minus robbery of course... ^^
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another random thing...

I don't know how and why but I heard things bout how some of them here couldn't stand the way I talked...

like "I joined the debate tea...bla...bla...bla.." "I was in PUM as a bla...bla..bla.."

and to think that they said they're afraid that I'd become riya' if I kept on saying that... and that I should just keep my mouth shut and stay at a corner...

God! That's soooooo not me. (My father would never approve me doing that)... and I'm not bragging, I'm being thankful of who I was and who I am today...

but again they don't know... They would never know...

of how much I had sacrificed to be who I am today.

of how much I've gone through to be who I am today.

Keep on making excuses...pfftt... riya'???

How much did you learn about this to ever say someone like that?

and don't you think it's you making 'fitnah' instead? ppfftt...

I think I've written it clearly on my fb, for the 'favorite quotation' part, I did wrote this> Back off haters coz I won't give a damn!

and I.meant.it.


At least, if you really want to hate me, do it proudly. Tell it straight to my face. Don't just talk behind me as if I would never know anything.


If you think you cannot compete with someone, don't tell them to keep quiet so that you can shine. You're gonna make a fool out of your own self.


coz I've had it harsher than this.

At least, I never stepped on you guys or anyone else to be who I am today...


If you feel like hating me would make you comfortable, go on... be comfortable...

I don't have any problem with that.

and I'm not angry with you guys either... not even a bit...

coz at least I know, you hate me coz I'm just too good...

and please... just cross that "takut jadi riya'...bla...bla...bla..." and "kami sayang...bla...bla..." thingy...

I can still live without your so-called 'sayang'...


and In fact, I've lived for more than 19 years without it... ^^

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 Who's 'you guys' and 'them'???

Let it just be a secret... and no. no one told me who 'they' are...

I found it out myself... and no. I'm not judging 'them'.

I read them... It's a simple thing that everyone could do.

All you need to do is just look around you carefully...

Okay, I still need to finish my works...-_-"

p/s: riya'= http://hikmatun.wordpress.com/2009/10/03/riyak-syirik-yang-terkecil/

Please... at least just learn islam a little bit deeper before you point your fingers...

God, why do I feel like this is just toooo funny???

^^

I refuse to love and be loved...yet

I know... you guys are going to think like "What's with that title?" or maybe... "OMG! WTH?!!"

Well, I'm now listening to JYJ's fallen leaves... The very first song from JYJ that I'd give 8/10... Though I do know they sang with all their heart (I've no doubt that they're very good) but the melodies and the lyrics couldn't reach my heart... Well, that should be another whole different story...

or should I just continue to give comments about songs?

lol~ Just kidding~

So far, now I think I'm starting to live a very hectic life (on certain days) but still, somehow, though it's not easy, I could still go on, not wanting to lose...

Something I hadn't felt for quite a very long time...

So, what's up with the lonely title? lol~

Actually, I'm just wanna share something here. So that it won't continue bugging my mind...

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There, it started off rather nicely... though many things happened but I'd still consider it as a nice start but the ending... I know there are things that better left untouched...

Ignorance after all is a bliss

Here, I'd say that it didn't start out nicely to begin with... I don't know why... maybe it's because I'm just too good that they're so jealous with me? lol~ Just kidding!

but, how come I didn't feel anything being accused like that?

How come I'm not hurt at all?

How come this is nothing compared to the things I've gone through before?

and again... I kinda know the answer.

because I don't love them yet... and I know why...

It's probably because we've just known each other less than a month...

but, deep in my heart, I know I'm being more cautious this time. I cannot vow to myself to not to love anymore or to despise love coz I know, somehow, one day, that wall will definitely break.

and the most I could do is being more cautious...

So that I won't waste my tears for those who never appreciate my love

Coz love always come with a price tag...

and the price you had to pay sometimes is just too great

way too great...

that you could never afford it.
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Though I kept my head up high all the time... I'm still a girl and that's a fact.

Girls are not like men. Why did they said that girls are fragile?

coz for every girl, every woman, love is their whole life...

what kind of love it is? you judge it yourself...


How about men? Don't they love?

Yes. They do... But for men, love is only a portion, just a part of their life...

Therefore, even if a girl kept her head up high, she's probably even more fragile than the men who never had the gut to look up...


if you betray their love...

Here in IPG...

I'm missing USIM!!! lol~

Okay, feel honoured Ex-Tamhidians... coz I'm missing you guys sooo much!!!

Especially my ex-housemates, D-3-6 and TST 8 students and also some account students including shaby-kun, shiro...etc2... Ahh!!! There's so much~

huhu

but most of all, I'm missing FSU cafeteria... hak3

Food here far more expensive than in Nilai and there's not much choice either. So, as always,,, biscuits would be the best choice coz actually I'm very particular about the food I ate when I'm far from home...

I hate getting sick when I'm far from home... -_-

and as I said before, I'm not picky when it comes to food but never ask me whether it's delicious or not coz it'd be another looooong story... huhu...

Enough bout that...

Basically I'm happy being here though there are certain things somehow been bugging my mind but basically,,, that's it.

.I.AM.HAPPY.

I think being here had really change me somehow and I think it's gonna give a very huge impact to my life.

Nevertheless, it's a good change. and I liked it.

I'm grateful to HIM for giving this to me.

Sometimes, it even made me think that if I were to die without knowing so much things, it'd be a pity.

I think that's why I'm still breathing today.


and to think that I've given up on life before... -_-"


Sometimes, looking around made me unconsciously smile.

Compared to my friends back in USIM, most of them here are really matured.

Things that I rarely found in my friends back then.

but of course, there're certain things that they're still lacking such as life and experience...

Funny how that one year made so much difference in our way of thinking.

but that isn't how it is actually. Be it 1 year apart or even 10 years apart, if you're reluctant to learn the lessons, it'll be just a waste of time...

and yeah~ it's a pity...

So here, I got more 'adik'... haha!

and one of them even asked my opinion about love. lol~

Though I really want to answer him that "That kind of love is just a waste of time..."

but, I know I can't corrupt their point of view with my radical way of thinking.

lol~

Life here is a lot more easier than USIM, i'd say... Though there's lots of unexpected things but it's more fun that way. Isn't it?

Being a 'cikgu' is not bad at all~

but one more funny thing is there's only 'cikgu' here, therefore if you want a husband who work as a lawyer, or engineer, or scientist or whatever... you can't find them here... lol~

Here, we have class untill 1.15p.m, then finish! There are days that we've to go back on 3.30p.m but I'd say it's much much much better than my schedule in USIM.

and I just have to walk back to my hostel which is not that far. It's just like from FSU to the bus stand in front of FPQS...

lol~

and to think that Appa said it's quite far when he lead me to the hostel, the first day I'm here... -_-"

So, far I also liked the hostel here. It might not be that new. But I like it....

I think it's long enough...

I'll be right here again next time.

Should I write about my hostel or my course here? Hmm~ Tell me your opinion...

Till then~

p/s: Happy 19th birthday to diB. Welcome to the club 19th!!! hahaha!

Sometimes, I wish I'm 18 instead of 19.... T___T

I'm old~

chalgayo nae aegi (Goodbye my aegi)...(^.^) (T_T)

I'm giving an honor to my aegi by putting her name on the tittle... lol~

Should have written that tittle in Korean but my lappy is broken again. This time it's very serious...

and I don't even know when would Mr. Lappy come back to me. T__T

Who's aegi? lol~

Don't feel like writing about her yet, but I will... soon~

Oh, aegi actually means baby in English...

Wow! Can't believe after all that chaos here and there, finally tomorrow I'll be the official IPGM's student. 

Nervous???

I don't feel anything truthfully... Not even excited...

Well, let's just say this time I'm just hoping for a life without fakers and haters...

I bet that hope will never come true... lol~

Actually I haven't finish packing up my things... hehe~ The truth is all the forms was filled in by Along... huhuhu~

Without Mr. Lappy, I spent my times fooling around with my siblings, rocking the house literally... -_-"

Poor them for having to stand my antics these days~~~ ngee~

How many pillows should I bring this time? Hmmm~~~

I haven't even found the shoes to wear tomorrow. Apparently... after looking through all my shoes which actually composed of heels and sandals, none of them (sadly) are close enough to the word 'decent'... 

Mom is soooo gonna get mad tomorrow... hehe~

Maybe, I should really drop by the shop tomorrow...

and I haven't put Keroro yet in my bag... Ssshhh~ Don't tell appa or mom...

They don't like me bringing that 'frog' to my hostel... hihihi~

Sssshhhh~ It's our secret, k?

Look, even Yin Yin agree with me... huhuhu~

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I'm soooo gonna miss Ikkun too~ T___T 

Ikkun my love...

Now that I'm going, I have to leave him for awhile... It's okay,,, I'll be back on weekend anyway...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So basically, I'm back to the path again after straying for over than one year. I never regret those times nor did I despise it... I'm sure, it's all for good...

I'll be back to Nilai again... Not as a student...but as a friend... :-)

Arrrggghhh!!!! I don't wanna leave home yet~

I still want to play~

huhuhu~

It's okay... when holiday comes, I'm gonna drag Am or Addin to accompany me to Negeri Sembilan and Malacca... hihihi~

Just so you know, I'm getting creepier these days than usual~

Okay...

Done fooling around here~~~

See ya! 

5/6/2011 - Al-Fatihah....

Even when I started to type this, my mind is still debating whether to write this or not.

afraid that my tears will still fall the moment I write this...

but I know, memories will fade...

though it's sad, I don't want this memory to fade away... I never want to forget it...

because this will be my last memory with her... the very last one...


Even until now, I couldn't believe that she's already gone.

Gone from this world... Moving on to the next phase...

Somehow, it felt as is she's still there. waiting for us to come back to Malacca.


with that smile on her face. 

Semuanya berlalu terlalu pantas untuk aku percaya...

untuk kami semua percaya... untuk dia percaya...

saat kami sampai, suasana suram... terlalu suram. sebetulnya aku langsung tak menangis saat aku menerima berita itu.

Mungkin aku terlalu terkejut.

Aku terbangun dari tidur tepat pukul 12.00 tengah malam bila terdengar suara abah bercakap dengan seseorang ditelefon.

"Kak ngah aku meninggal baru tadi, sesak nafas..."

Mak Ngah dah meninggal?


Mak Ngah dah meninggal?


Mak Ngah dah meninggal?

I don't really have the words to describe my feelings when we arrived.

Aku tak mahu menangis. Mesti kuat. Bila masuk dalam rumah, salam dengan pak andak, mak chik dan orang lain... Perasaan aku dah jadi lain... Sebak...

Masuk lagi kedalam... Kaki aku berat melangkah kedepan... Tahu bahawa aku tak sekuat yang aku sangka...

Akhirnya, ditengah ruang itu, terbaring dia... sayup-sayup suara orang membaca yassin.

Mak menghampiri jenazah dan perlahan kain itu ditarik...

Saat aku melihat wajah itu, aku terus berpaling. Hati aku tak sanggup.

Air mata mengalir laju.

Selepas beberapa ketika, mak menutup kembali kain tu.

Kami semua duduk. Yassin dicapai. Perlahan aku baca satu persatu...

Tapi, aku terus menangis. Saat itu terdengar suara abah membaca yassin. Hati jadi lagi sebak.

Tahu bahawa kakak yang abah sayangi sudah pergi...

Selesai baca yassin, kami semua bergerak kembali kedapur.

Dan bermulalah proses mengemas. Air mata aku dah berhenti. Aku dan anak-anak mak chik kemas bilik arwah untuk dijadikan tempat jenazah dimandikan.

Bila segalanya siap, tiba masa jenazah diangkat untuk dimandikan.

Aku menangis setiap kali aku lihat mundzir dan dudin angkat jenazah...

Perlahan kenangan menyapa kembali.

Dia yang suatu ketika dahulu mengangkat dan memimpin mereka, kini diangkat...

Tubuh yang kaku itu kini diangkat oleh mereka...

Hati aku sangat sebak. Terlalu sebak.

Mak Ngah, mereka dah besar... Tengok, Dudin dah jadi kuat sekarang... 


Tapi, kata-kata tu hanya mampu dilafaz dalam hati...

Aku tak masuk saat jenazah dimandikan. Aku tak kuat... Langsung tak kuat.

Diri seakan ditampar saat melihat  wajahnya.

Aku mahu menerima takdir ini dengan redha.

Dengan hati terbuka... 

Tapi aku tak mampu menahan air mata saat aku melihat wajahnya.

Selepas dimandikan dan dikapan, kami beratur untuk melihat dan mencium arwah buat kali terakhir.

Aku sangat takut aku tak dapat tahan air mata bila melihat arwah.

Tapi aku mampu menahan air mata saat itu. Dahi itu dikucup. sejuk.

Sangat sejuk...

aku tak dapat tahan. terus aku berpaling dan keluar dari orang ramai yang berkumpul sekeliling jenazah.

Aku peluk Kak Adawiyah dan menangis.

Terlalu sedih...

Maaf, tapi aku tak dapat lagi menahan air mata ini...

Selepas tu, aku pergi ke kubur bersama dengan mak...

Akhirnya semua telah selesai...

Akhirnya selepas 5 tahun Pak Ngah pergi, Mak Ngah pergi jua...

Saat tu banyak perkara bermain di fikiran aku...

Perkara yang tak dapat aku luahkan disini...

Mungkin sebab sibuk didapur, perasaan sedih dihati aku berkurang...

Selepas beberapa ketika, aku dapat juga berbual dengan Kak Adawiyah...

Kata akak, sebelum Mak Ngah pergi, dia ada cakap nak datang Terengganu...

Nak tengok anak saudara dia yang sorang ni jadi cikgu...

Hati aku jadi sebak lagi... Tapi aku tak nangis.

Aku tak nak akak nangis lagi...

Kali akhir aku jumpa Mak Ngah, masa kak teh anak mak long bertunang...

Waktu tu aku sangat gembira dapat jumpa dengan semua orang...

Kak Long tak ikut sebab dia balik Terengganu. Jadi aku wakil keluarga kami ke kenduri tu dengan mak chik.

Aku ingat lagi, Mak Ngah ketawa tengok aku makan lauk pedas. Dia kata aku dah tukar jadi orang Negeri Sembilan.

Tak sangka, itulah kali terakhir aku dapat makan dengan Mak Ngah...

Itulah kali terakhir aku ketawa bersama - sama dia...

Kali terakhir aku cium tangan dia...

Waktu didapur, aku dengar abah kata dia buat keputusan yang tepat...

Tahu apa yang dia maksudkan...

Aku tak berani pandang abah sebelum tu...

Aku akan menangis setiap kali aku pandang abah. Sebab aku tahu, abah sangat sedih.

Tadi, abah sendiri kata dia rasa seolah olah mak ngah masih ada... dan sejujurnya... aku pun rasa begitu...

Semua orang masih sedih... dan tika ini pun, aku masih menangis...

Dan saat air mata ini mengalir,

bibir cuba mengukir senyum...

Tahu bahawa diri ini masih merindui dia...


Tahu bahawa diri in terlalu merindui dia...

Tahun ni, aku akan beraya di Melaka lagi...

Hari Raya tahun ni, kami akan sambut dengan abang izwan dan Kak Adawiyah...

Semoga hari mendatang dapat kami semua tempuh dengan sabar...

Al-Fatihah buat arwah Mak Ngah...

Redha adalah menerima sesuatu tanpa sebarang persoalan...

dan semoga semua orang redha menerima takdir ini...

Semoga roh arwah ditempatkan dikalangan orang-orang beriman...

of a birthday and a farewell...

and just like that, my birthday passed...

Just like any other day, it doesn't really hold a meaning to me, except for the bunch of wishes and everything.

at least, now I don't really sees my birthday as something special anymore.

actually I've been online for these few days but apparently, I'm more into my ffics rather than logging in to FB.

and yeah, I've returned! and I guess I still got that passion as a writer. ^^

Apparently, on my birthday, she posted up this on her weibo -:

TT___TT

that's sure made us really really upset. but truthfully, aside from having a comeback, I am happy that she's living a peaceful and happy life. Sometimes, I do want her to stay like this forever.

but well, life should go on, right?


19th May 2011

is it a wish come true?

Partly I think...

and so,,, I officially bid farewell to all USIM students.

and now, I'm officially, no longer a USIM students.

I think some of you could already see this coming.

I guess I'm right this time... HE do wanna show 'something' to me there.

and that 'something',

it's a secret between me and HIM.

somehow, I'm not really afraid anymore. Coz I know, everything had been written in my fate.

and due to a promise, I'll continue living this life to the fullest.

a promise that I'll never back off and continue to run.

a promise that I'll never surrender to a heartbreak...

Just because of that promise I made years ago...

and by choosing, this, I'm not going on an easy road either. I'd rather choose a bumpy one.

and even if it's not, I'll just make one.

Anyway, I guess that's all from me...


To tst 8,

Don't miss me coz I'm not worth it.

[Review] DGNA/The Boss/Daikoku Danji (First Japanese Album, Love Power)

Daikoku Danji : First Japanese Album, Love Power

Official Release : 13th April 2011

Reviewed by : aiLee (16th May 2011)

Dae Guk Nam Ah (DGNA) or The Boss is a Korean boy band debuted in 2010. Despite hearing many good comments about this group, surprisingly I never took any interest in them mainly because they’re being compared to TVXQ. I neither have anything against TVXQ nor these boys but to me, having your very own image is very important. Yes, you do have to look up to the sunbaes (seniors) but it is not necessary to be similar to them or else you’re gonna live in their shadows.

Their first song that I really listened to was from this Japanese album (Love Power) entitled “もう最後になると (It Will Be the Last)”. I like the way how the music blended with their voices really well. I guess the thing that attracts me the most was how their voices blended with each other really well. I’m quite satisfied with their live performance considering that they got quite a stable vocal throughout the whole performance proved their ability to be a singer despite their young age.

I won’t compare them with other groups but truthfully, for a newbie, they deserved recognition. The fact that not much idol groups nowadays have the real ability to perform live is what made them differ in my eyes.

In this album, 4 songs are released including an instrumental for Love Power. Love Power, 奪いたい今すぐに (I want to steal you right now), もう最後になると (It Will Be the Last), and まだ見ぬその未来へ (To the Unseen Future) are the songs titles in this album.

Going through one by one starting from “Love Power”, this song is a song about the power of love itself that could make one person change. I find the lyrics quite funny and how it depicted the real situation when someone fell in love. This cheerful song with a very cheerful MV has a different feel from the usual “happy” styles depicted by most idol groups nowadays.

I would say 奪いたい今すぐに or in English I want to steal you right now, is rather a sad song. Usually, lyrics like this made me feel like the song is pathetic but this one brought a different feel I guess. Rather than feeling like the person is pathetic, I feel sympathy towards that person. After all, a one-sided love is the most painful out of all. Isn’t it?

まだ見ぬその未来へ or To the Unseen Future is my favorite one from this album. This song is an inspiring song giving one a feeling of forgetting yesterday and continues to look forward. I think I’ll post up a different post about this song later (if I have enough time).

I think out of 4 songs, 2 of them are rather sad. Anyway, this group’s average age is 19.4. Beginning their career at such a young age, I think with proper promotions and songs, they’ll be able to reach to the top soon and maybe even surpassing TVXQ’s success.

And I think the stylists should give them a different style. Watching Karam feels exactly like watching the young “Kim Jaejoong”. I think it’s mostly due to his hair and the way he sings onstage. It exactly the same. But seeing his face up- close, I think this guy has his own charm.

He's different from Jaejoong though. Looking at his pic here reminds me of Taemin from SHINee. Somehow his face give that vibe.

 Together with TVXQ. This one is backstage during TVXQ performance "Keep Your Head Down"

I guess people should really stop comparing them.

To the fans, support them just the way they are and don’t forget to be nice towards other fanclubs too! ^^

What am I doing here?

Current time : 05:00a.m (+8.00)

Current temperature : Don't know but a lil bit cold  >__<

All the things above totally proved that I don't have anything to do... or... is it just me??? Okay,,, the truth is there are looooootsssss of things to be done.

But I guess I've been cursed with the word >>>> L.A.Z.Y

lol~

Not really I guess, coz at least I'm trying hard to keep the kitchen clean. >__<

which apparently requires really LOTS of work... and time.

It seems like regaining back my "Princess"-like position + reigning the dictatorship again here will require lots and lots of time...

Nope. I'm not kidding. The person who live here would know it better.

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It seems like I'm still fond of FO...

This is one of the traits that I got > once I'm grew fond of something, it'll take a very long time to disappear.

is it a good trait? or a bad one?

I guess both... lol~ Why?

coz at least I'm being faithful here... (trying to)

anyway,,, bout FO or Family Outing... Actually during 2008, ever since the first broadcast, I've been keeping myself up-to-date until the last episode of F.O. That time Ramen Soup Subs was the only subbing team that subs the whole episodes.

and now, since I got the full episodes, it's like heaven! :p

I stopped watching FO when season 1 finished coz none of the casts from season one are in the season two.

Season 2 was full of idols = I'm.not.interested.

Did I ever tell you guys that I'm not really into Idol Groups Newbies ever since 2007?
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Oh, seems like I forgot to...

I'm not really into the idol groups that debuted from late 2007 until now. Except for one or two of course. There's always an exception for every rules right?

Well,,, actually if I think about it deeper,,, I'm not really fond of the idol groups in the first place... except for one or two of them... lol~

Zhang Li Yin? pfffttt... She's not considered as an idol. Mind you.

and so, now I'm officially joining weibo though seriously I can't really understand much words in that page...
can only understand simple ones like 男 and 女 and also this >>>> 张力尹...
 
Weibo is actually the Chinese version of twitter since twitter is not allowed in China just like how Tudou is for Youtube.

Basically, in direct translation, it is a mini blog. and it seems like the Chinese are getting addicted to Weibo... lol~ Just like how we're addicted to Twitter or FB.

and why all of a sudden weibo??? Geez~ of course because of the particular reason above... -_-"

Though seriously,,, I think this one suits me better > Zhang Li Yin : Archive

Aha! Just now, while strolling through my very own collections, I found this.

060909 음악중심 timeless 장리인with시아준수

Imma just translating this for you >>>>> 장리인 = 张力尹

I got this video after going through thousands and thousands of downloading and deleting process until I found this HD version. lol~

Yeah~ basically,,, I kinda know that I am insatiable~ :p

Don't bother me... I'm not even close to being sane  >___<

The start of the loooonnnngggg holiday

Greetings boys and girls!

so what? It's the long holiday again!!! Though I doubt that mine is that long... -_-"

I'm still in 'relax mode' so I don't feel like being active on fb... and fanfics, oh, I 've been on hiatus for too long~ TT__TT

I kinda miss writing... and my readers too~ It's actually feels really good to read the comments made by the people who read my stories... *Grin like a pabo*

I've been spending my times watching FO (Family Outing) again and again and again! Funny how it never fail to make me laugh and... hungry. -_-"

aside from that, been strolling on the net to find yin yin pics. am I a stalker??? Creepy~

anyway, found her updates on weibo since Chocolyn hasn't been posting any lately...

This one is my fav!!!

Dork~

and this is the newest info bout her album... I'm tired of waiting though. just like that puppy...

lol~

and just now I reread all the comments on my Ffic.. ^^ and it does make me feel happy!

that one from my 1st fanfic, Moving On. I've posted it here before...

Next in line is my 2nd Ffic...

This one is written by me out of the blue and it really surprised me to see the number of subscribers is quite a lot.

and this Ffic is a twist from BoF... huhu...

Now I feel really bad being on-hiatus without any notice... :(

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See ya!

You're wrong then...

If you ever think I'm being the way I am now because I don't want to be fake or I'm just being the way I am,

then, congrats. you're wrong.

I actually choose to act differently in front of different people. in other words, I.am.fake.

I proudly present myself the award for the best actress.

I don't know if any of you ever realized but I do act differently with my friends too.

Please do remember though, I'm not going to act the way you want me to. Unless you're someone really significant in my life, then if you want me to, I'll change. for the better...

In fact, I'd usually act according to your level.

Not because I think I am a mature adult. But rather because the way we think are different.

If any of you ever think that I considered myself as matured, think again. because again,,, you're wrong.

I do whine. In fact, I whine more than my youngest sister.

because apparently, being matured = no fun

People judge through our actions and when they're not pleased, they'd bash.

I better not care about what people think about me.

Ignorance after all is a bliss.

So, if you think that I don't know that some people don't really like me, again, you're wrong.

because eventually, I know.

don't ask me how. People would think that I'm creepy if I told them how.

only that I choose to ignore. hurt??? I can only feel it if I allow myself to.

Mess with me or with the people I love and I'll give you hell.

coz I'm not that kind to forgive people.

If you ever think I am a kind girl, you're wrong then.

saya penat dan bosan... dan juga lapar

Tiba-tiba hari ini tidak terdetik dihati ingin menulis dalam bahasa inggeris. Sebab saya malas... Walaupun,,, sejujurnya.... menulis dalam bahasa melayu lebih memenatkan bagi saya kerana saya sudah kekurangan apa yang disebut dalam bahasa inggeris sebagai 'vocabulary'.

Saya mahu pulang kerana saya sudah bosan berseorangan disini. Nilam court.

Saya penat sebab saya tidur pukul 2.30 pagi semalam. Apa yang saya buat? huhuhu...

Perkara biasa... Tengok video, movie dan sebagainya... paling tak pun, termenung dihadapan komputer...

Sekarang, saya lapar. Walaupun saya pandai masak,,, tapi dekat sini tiada bahan untuk dimasak. Jadi selepas 2 hari berturut - turut memerah idea, membuat suatu keajaiban dengan memasak sesuatu yang sedap dengan menggunakan bahan-bahan yang ada, saya sudah kekeringan idea.

Esok baru abah datang untuk mengeluarkan saya dari sini... T__T

Malam ini,,, berseoranganlah saya dalam rumah itu... Sejujurnya saya tidak takut bersendirian tetapi saya lebih takut kepada memori - memori yang ada didalam rumah itu.

Memori kami semua bergelak ketawa bersama - sama.

Itu lebih menakutkan...

dengan itu saya tujukan lagu ini kepada mereka...




p/s: I'm using 'mereka' here... Feel free to include urself in that 'mereka'... huhu...

Doughnut's Haven (^o^)

 So, for the first time I'm posting up the pics of Doughnuts that I made on 19/04/2011 right after finishing my final paper, Biology II... huhuhu~

Actually it's Hajar and Syafiqah a.k.a Saidatul's birthday (which I actually forgot... >__< I'm soo bad~)... and since we don't have much money to buy cake,,, so, I can only make doughnuts...

After around 1 hour I managed to make approximately 60 doughnuts... This time, the doughnuts are rather soft compared to the one that I made last Saturday...

and like I said, since we don't have money,,, we made a doughnut cake instead... lol~

Initially, I did these alone,,, until Dibah came and help followed by the others... That's why you can see some disoriented doughnuts... lol~

 

and so,,, that's how I finished my evening making doughnuts... ^^

seeing them eating the food I made, make me feel somewhat happy... hahaha (God! I sound like a mother!)

p/s: To those who already tasted my cooking (which includes all TST 8 students and my housemates and some others) please kindly write a testimony so that I can easily get married in the future... lol~

Though I did already have someone in mind... ^^

How about him??? *wiggle eyebrows* ^^

Hahaha! Just kidding! ^^

I see many disappointed faces just now, huh? hahahaha~

Thanks for Everything... =)

Today, while waiting for Mary (who's still sleeping -_-") to go the campus, I decided to post up something I wrote 2 days ago...

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I have to admit, I am badly affected by this. Maybe because it came when I was really unprepared.

It indeed hurts more when you’re unprepared. That moment you smiled and next, the smile vanished from your face. Not leaving even a single trace.

“Lemparkan dulu mslh tu ke tepi buat masa ni, struggle untuk final dulu nursyakirah.lupakan mereka yg tak menghargai awk,hargai diri awk sendiri, kerana dirimu begitu bermakna.=)”

Sender : mir

                +6014517****

Received :20:43:30

                    12-04-2011

She’s right. I have to appreciate my own self. Ignore them all.

But, somehow, it’s still suffocating remembering all those glances. All those hatred shown through their eyes. 

How can I see them? Because I look into people’s eyes with my heart. You may smile, you may lie. But your eyes showed them all. Your emotions, your hatred. Everything. It is shown through the eyes. Though I can’t read it all, but I can read most of them.

I admit, I can’t be alone nowadays. I’m afraid to be alone. Coz it reminds me to all those hatred. To all those fake smiles. 

How much does it take for you not to judge me?

How much do you actually know me?

Just how many of my pasts do you know for you to judge me?

My love, my anger, my tears, my broken heart, how much of these that you know for you to judge me?

Ironic isn’t it? I told myself to never cry because of a man.

Yet, I forgot one thing. Just this one thing. I forgot to tell myself to never cry because of friends who forgot to appreciate me. 

I’m really unpredictable huh?

Well, this is what happens when I am depressed. The moment I smile and the next I may cry.

I’m thankful to God though.

Coz this time, I hadn’t had the thought of making my hand bleed just like the last time or sitting in the dark alone praying for HIM to ‘take’ me back.

For I know because HE love me that HE want me to not forgetting HIM.
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and the day after that, I guess HE 'heard' my prayer...

I already decided this time... 

Hopefully it's the best choice...

and I know they'll support me no matter what I choose... =)

Ignore...

because I am frustrated today, I'm posting an entry...

ridiculous isn't it??? Yeah... I know...

Arrggghhh!!!! I came down here with a determined heart to set my future and when I opened that particular website... -_-"

it's not there??? WTH?!!! Arrgghhh!!! Geez~

````````````````````````````````````>>> Random rant...

I used to like Lee Donghae... but that was before he filmed the MV with Zhang Li Yin.

after that MV released, I was like... x__X

Actually, I'm cool about this but not till I saw some of his 'so-called fans' comments>>>

"WTF?!!! THAT SLUT BETTER GET OFF MY DONGHAE OPPA NOW!!!"

I read that comment and many others and that's it!

Lee Donghae, I hate you.

I know it's not fair to hate him for these immature comments.

hate is a harsh word... hmm... let's just say,,, in suju, I don't really favour him...

I favour Hangeng or Siwon more though... Not because of their looks... but because of her...

huhuhuhu... I'm going!
p/s: before someone kill me for posting this 'random rant' hahaha

baru sedar

credits to Mir for the title... lol~

Finally, that sense knocked back into my head...

lol~ and that silly girl made me smile again today...

I wish my only and beloved Along will do well in her exam!!! :)
p/s: Hopefully my whispers would be brought to you by the wind... Along, saranghae!!! :)))

can't believe it! Now, it's the study week and the final exam is almost here!!!! Arrgghhh!!! I'm feeling pressured now...

huhuhu... really??? Hehehe

Don't know~

Mom called last night saying that she kept thinking of me... TT___TT

I'm missing home~ coz it's the only place that where I can be as strong as I can and show how weak I am... The only place where they'd protect me from the most painful words thrown by others...

These days, I kept thinking and thinking...

Thinking of Along used take care of me when I got that very painful headache.

Thinking of how Mundzir used to take care of me when I cannot walk.
Thinking of how Sakinah always cook for me though she said the opposite.
Thinking of how Dudin used to make me feel protected when we go out together.
Thinking of how Wahidah used to get angry when I asked her to do some work.
Thinking how they used to protest when I gave them the order to do the house chores.

Thinking back,,, my little brothers and lil sisters had already grown...

In the future, will I get the same love they've given to me from others???

I don't think so...

If I were given a chance, whether to go through this one year again or not??? if it's two months ago, I would never hesitate to say YES. but, now, it's a definite NO.

coz the pain I've been through is not worth it. Somehow,,, it's not.

Teacher's right, sometimes, it'll start happily, but the ending is ..........

Let's forget all of these. Let's forget all the pain. Let's smile again.

: )

Life after today

I started to write this on 6th March 2011... but, my mind got stuck... and tonight,,, I suddenly got ideas to continue this...

I won't call this a story coz it's not really qualified to be one. One-shot or drabble??? hmmm.... I don't know what to call this...

Okay, I'll call this a one-shot then since it is written in 1st person point of view...

So,,, enjoy!

Sorry for if my entries nowadays are a little bit gloomy... I'm having a hard time facing all these heartbreaks...

Maybe I am wrong after all... I thought girls would understand girls more since they're girls, that's why I favour and love girls more than boys,,, but in the end,,, >_< (no comment!)

Maybe it's because I easily love people around me... and due to that, I easily get hurt...

Conclusion : Don't love...

Life after today

It felt just like yesterday we were saying goodbye to each other and smiled as I watched you disappearing from my sight. Your smile, just like any other smile you gave to me. That reassuring kind. The smile that always made me smiles whenever I frown. It can make me laugh even. Somehow, I could still feel your presence beside me. It gave me a calming effect. The kind you’d get when you drink a chrysanthemum tea. Also, the very same kind you’d get when you inhaled the sweet scent of lavender. 

Life after today… Can it be any harder?

                Remember when I used to frown if you made me wait for a long time? You will try to talk to me even if I ignored you. With the same chuckle and the same laughter that even I myself couldn’t stay mad at you. You’d smile when I laughed feeling relieved as you know that you had already forgiven. I’m asking myself now, can I really smile after today? Can I?

Life after today… Can it be any harder?

                This place. Walking here, it feels as if I’m picking up the pieces of memories. Just like puzzle. Matching one by one with the other pieces. In the past and the present, nothing changed.  All these memories. They’re still the same. Only that the other owner of this pieces of memories is no longer here. You’re no longer here.

Life after today… Can it really be any harder?

In fact, it wasn’t the first time we separate. Yet I know this will be the last. Your smile, your laugh, your tears, your words, everything about you… I’ll remember it. I will. How can I not? You’re the only one. The only you in this world yet the He love you more. So, in the end, I’ll give in for we all know that we’re His. One day, I will also follow your path. 

As for now, I want you to know that I really love you…

Life after today, though it might going to be harder, I’ll be strong… For you…

Monday, April 04, 2011

Let's stay strong

They say if you live with endless pain, in the end, you won't feel the pain anymore...

but, it's a lie

a pure lie, indeed...

  

Dandelion... to me, is a symbol of strength

the symbol of unrequited love

the owner of the unbreakable strength

 the significant of freedom

yet

it's very fragile

  - aiLee-                             

This time, let's stay strong and ignore all the omnipresent stench... 

Now, I'll let it go...

What hurts the most?

Being hurt by someone you know?

or

Misunderstood by someone you love?

Though I perfectly know how it hurts, I can't stop myself from letting them become significant in my life... 

yet

again, I failed to protect my own feeling

For now... I'll let it go...

I won't say anything anymore...

No need to apologize

coz it's not your fault.

It's never yours.

It's mine.

For loving you guys with all my heart...